Blind in a Way (Frerard)

Thirty Two

~Frank's POV~

"Frank, I get it's the weekend now, but you can't just sleep through all of it."

"Fucking watch me."

I shut my eyes tighter, refusing to move from my bed. I didn't want to do anything. I had already actually done my school work, so there was no reason for me to even have to ever since...

"Stop being such a baby, Frank." Ray groaned, "Man up and go talk to him! Make him listen! He's blind, not deaf."

"You watch your fucking mouth."

"See! You still care about him!"

"I never stopped!" I argued, throwing my arm over my head to try and shut him out. "That's why it hurts..."

"Make a bigger effort to go see him!"

"Even if he could see me, he wouldn't want to! And I don't blame him..."

"Frank, you need to stop throwing yourself a little pity party by moping around in here like a crybaby."

I ground my teeth together, slightly. Sure, I was the crybaby. I had only lost months of my life with someone I loved due to a drunken mistake. What had Ray lost? His life was going so smoothly compared to the mess of my life. Good grades, girlfriend, and no big worries. He had nothing to cry about.

"I'll be back later. I'll see you then." Ray seemed to finally give up on making me leave. I waited for the noise of the door to shut before I sat up and rubbed my eyes by pushing my palms against them.

I tried getting ahold of Gerard already, he wouldn't respond. He said he needed time, but what if time meant something different for the two of us...

There was a knocking at the door. I sighed, throwing myself completely up onto my feet in the assumption that Ray had forgotten his key. I was just in my boxers as I walked over to the door and pulled it open.

"Oh! Um, h-hi Frank." I was surprised to see Patrick standing there, but even more surprised to see Gerard on the blushing boy's arm.

"Hi Frank..." He said softly.

"H-hi." I stuttered a bit, feeling my heart beat faster.

"He-he wanted to come see you and he remembered how many steps and turns to get to your door from the coffee shop so..." Patrick trailed off, his cheeks still red.

"Oh, ah, Yea..." I nodded, shifting myself behind the door slightly. I should really start slipping sweats on at least when answering the door. "Help him to the bed real quick? Thanks Patrick..."

I had ducked behind the door and slid on some loose fitting pants from the floor while Patrick walked Gerard in.

"I'll see you guys later! I, ah, got...Studying..." Patrick laughed as he backed out of the room with a small wave.

"Bye Patrick." Gerard called out.

"Later, dude." I said, giving him a small wave before shutting the door. I turned back to Gerard and began walking over to him, but he spoke before I could.

"Before you say anything, can I say something?" Gerard asked, kicking his feet over the edge of my bed slightly.

"Shoot." I nodded, taking in all the features of his face I had missed over the last week. I sat next to him and waited for him to go on.

He sucked in a breath of air before he spoke. "I jumped to conclusions. I heard your name and cheat in the same sentence and I was just so hurt... I wanted to shut you out. I wanted to shut down and I kind of did..." He stopped kicking his feet and instead crossed them. "I've never been in such a trusting relationship... I even showed you my eyes, I've never shown anyone my eyes, Frankie!.. I was just so afraid and hurt..."

I reached out and slid my hand over his. He was hesitant to accept my touch, but his hand slowly turned and gripped mine tightly.

"I do still love you..." He whispered, "I never stopped I just get so paranoid sometimes and it scares the living shit out of me..."

"I still love you too..." I whispered back, "That's why I was so desperate to get back to you and explain everything that happened..."

Gerard squeezed my hand. "Tell me now. I know I'm blind, but I was a bit deaf too on the day you came back."

I couldn't help the small smile that spread after his words. That was my Gerard... I continued to hold onto his hand as I explained to him what happened. I cringed at myself as I relived it. I had already relived it every moment without Gerard. He just sat quietly, his head tilted slightly as I went on. When I was done, he was quiet for a moment.

"I'm sorry I wouldn't listen..." He said quietly.

"It was still my fault."

"Partially." He shook his head, "but not completely... Partially..."

"Baby, I'm so sorry." I choked on my words a bit, feeling tears brim in my eyes.

Gerard reached up with his free hand, trying to find my face. I didn't even need to help him before he found it, cupping my cheek lightly.

"I know..." He replied simply, keeping his hand against my cheek. "I'm sorry too... But I also know you love me. If you didn't, I wouldn't of heard the hurt in your voice both today and when you first got back..."

A tear spilled from my eye, but Gerard's thumb was there to swipe it away. He smiled at me, his eyebrows furrowing under his large glasses.

"If I could see your face..." He laughed lightly, "I've always wondered about how you show your emotions... I can only ever hear..."

"It's a mess right now..." I laughed, smiling just looking at him.

"That's okay."

His hand slid down my cheek and neck, resting on my bare chest.

"Oh, Frankie, I hope you aren't naked. I love you but I'm not quite ready to just jump back into it... Also I hope Patrick wasn't jittery cuz he got to see the woohoo that I've only ever felt."

"No!" I laughed, putting my free hand over the hand on my chest. "I'm just shirtless... I didn't feel like really going out today..."

Gerard nodded. "Then why not find a good movie for you to watch and me to listen to? We can stay in bed together... If it's okay?"

I held his hand a bit tighter. "I'd love that." I smiled. It just felt so good to have him next to me again. To feel his touch. To hear his voice.

I could never mess up like that again, because there was no way I wanted to lose this ever again...

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A/N~ shorter chapter than usual, sorry, but YAY THE SMOLS ARE HAPPY AGAIN

Also a bit unsure how much longer this book will be :( which sucks cuz I really love it but... I just don't know

Also, this book has like 35k reads holy shit thank you guys for liking this! When I first started it practically no one was reading but seeing how much it's grown makes me so happy just thank you <3

~Skittles Out~