We sit in silence. I watch Summer as she plays with a group of kids and I feel a bit less of a jerk for leaving her alone.
Three girls walk past Gavin and I turn my face to look at his. He's checking them out. Fucker.
They smile, giggle, and wave at him. He waves back and then he looks at their asses as the walk by him.
I wish I was the type of girl to call him out on it. I wish I were the girl to slap him and walk away. I..I wish I could tell him off and feel good about my self for doing so.
I'm not though.
He's all I will ever have. How could I ask for better? I couldn't because love doesn't happen, it doesn't exist.
Yeah, when it's the first three months or year with someone, everything is happiness and rainbows.
Actually, scratch that. It was never like that for Gavin and I. He wasn't like that at any moment in our relationship.
I say I love him..I convince myself that I do but I don't, i really don't.
I'm just with him because I don't want to be alone forever. It's sad to admit that to myself but it's the truth. The plain truth.
I feel like trash right now sitting next him.
He doesn't make me feel like a prize, he makes me feel like someone he's putting up with for some reason.
Why is he even with me?
I look back at the water to see where summer is. Gavin looking at those girls distracted me.
I scan the water but don't see her. Why don't I see her!
Then I hear screams. It's those group of kids that were playing with her.
Without any hesitation, I run that fastest that I have ever and scan the water for Summer once I reach the front.
Maybe one of the kids she was playing with drowned.
That's when my heart almost collapsed. I see a life guard lay her down on the sand and I feel like I'm about to throw up.
He starts to try to save her life and I'm just staring at Summer feeling so helpless.
"I did this," I repeat in my head over and over again.
I just stare at her in shock for a couple of seconds.
She then coughs out water, a lot of it. Maybe too much.
I quickly sit on the sand, with my knees holding me up, and force her into a hug.
A very deep hug.
I can't believe that I almost lost my sister for my own selfish reasons.
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HEY EVERYONE! WHAT DO YOU THINK SO FAR? WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO SUMMER?!? BE SURE TO COMMENT HOW YOUR FEELING DOWN BELOW. :) HAPPY READING!!!!
JE LEEST
Remember
Romantiek"I can't do this again," I say almost as a whisper. He starts to bite lightly on the skin on my neck. Okay, I'm having a hard time breathing right now. He goes back to the kisses and says a single word before every touch. "Your.mind.says.one.thing...
