Chapter 5

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HELLO MY LOVELIES! Okay, so can I say that loading a film camera is the most bizarre thing in the world? Who made all those loopies and stuff? O.o lol. This is what I get for being a film major. LOVING IT THOUGH! :D

Okay, back to my lovely book, lol. I was planning on writing this chapter earlier, but you know, LIFE. xP But pushing that all aside, I'm going to write my little heart away! So, ENJOY! ♥

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I don't know for how long I have been sitting here, staring blindly at the ceiling above before I turned my head and stared out the open window. A gush of cold wind entered the room, the curtains moving slightly as the coldness crashed against my skin and covers. But I felt nothing. I was aware of the cold, of the ever changing weather happening merely a few feet away from me, and yet I felt nothing. It was as if my body was completely numb. As if it was as cold as ice itself. Like death.

His words echoed through my mind and I couldn't help but feel that Malcolm was right. What if I am dying without even realizing it? I knew my strength and physical well being has been withering for the past few months, but I never thought of it to be this bad. And come to think of it, Malcolm never seemed to be this way when he was alive. He looked normal, just like any other werewolf I had encountered in Black Forest. Then again, he never really had the opportunity to actually interact with his mate. Let alone see her alive. Maybe that's why he was able to live for so long, because he had never experienced the love of a mate to begin with. I, on the other hand, have. I subconsciously placed a hand over my heart as the familiar pain echoed throughout my body until a thought occurred to me. If Malcolm's words were true and I was indeed dying slowly for being away from Marcus for so long, is he dying as well?

I shook my head, placing my extra pillow over my face before letting out a deep sigh. It couldn't possibly be true. And even if it was, I'm sure any available and eligible female in the pack is probably trying to win him over right now. I still remembered the first week I got to Black Forest High and noticed how all the girls would flirt with him whenever given the chance. Particularly one that stood out amongst the others.

Claudia.

Her face immediately appeared on my mind as did the evil smile she had given me in my dream. There was no doubt in my mind that the girl had practically thrown herself on him the second she discovered that I had abandoned him as well as the pack. I wouldn't blame her though. She always had her eyes set solely on him. Well, so I've been told. So finding out that she had been desperately trying to get with Marcus wouldn't at all be a surprise to me. As a matter of fact, I wouldn't mind at all. I mean, even though back then I was confident enough to say that I was the rightful Luna of the Black Forest Pack and that she wasn't, there was always a little voice in the back of my mind that told me that she would suit the role ten times better than I ever would. She is in fact the daughter of the Beta from the pack, so why not her be the one to replace me?

I let out a loud groan as I threw the pillow across the room, frustrated with my own thoughts. No matter how hard I tried to convince myself that Claudia wasn't right for Marcus or the pack itself, my mind would effortlessly wander into those thoughts, creating more frustration and sadness within me. I didn't need to think about that now. I couldn't. If I allowed my mind to wander once again with these horrid thoughts, there's no way I would be able to concentrate at work today. Thank goodness tomorrow is Friday and I had Monday off. I had absolutely no idea what I would do for this long upcoming weekend, but I hope I would come up with some idea. Maybe have my dad come over. It has been a long time since I've last seen him (which was on my birthday in March) and I missed him terribly. He was always the one to do the traveling since I vowed to myself that I would never step foot in that territory again. I knew that if I would, I would never be able to control my unstable emotions. I don't need them to go haywire or anything. As if they aren't already.

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