Shattered Appearances ✓

t h i r t y - f i v e: Those Tainted Words

Maybe it wasn't the best idea to kiss him in the middle of a concert hall with all our friends watching. But I didn't care. All I knew was that things were starting to fall into place. I could see the ending in the dark tunnel that I was in for so long.

But it was never that simple. There was always something that blocked my path and eventually I feared that the obstacle would be too big for me to pass through. I didn't want to be stuck again like I was for the longest time.

I couldn't worry about that now, though. I had plenty of other things that I could do to preoccupy my mind. After the concert, we all went back home, no one mentioning what happened before. Again, I sat in the front where Thomas was driving. Everyone else was pretending to distract themselves with menial things. He dropped everyone off, and when we arrived at my house, Stephanie quickly sped off and went inside, leaving Thomas and me in the car.

I wanted to say something, but I couldn't find the right words. I was terrible at all things relationships, so it would be pretty obvious that I was stuck on what to say now. So instead of racking my head on something to say, I spoke with my actions instead. Like I've done countless time before, I moved my hand closer to him and our fingers intertwined. No words had to be said because one look and a smile was enough.

It would always be enough for us.

Knowing that Stephanie would get suspicious of what I was doing if I was out too long, I said goodbye before leaving the car and letting him go home.

"Goodbye, Thomas. Drive safe. I know how reckless you get behind the wheel when you're alone."

Slowly, I released my hands from his grasped and left the car. Before he drove away though he said, "I will. Bye Zoe."

And then I was alone. Walking towards the door, I stepped inside to find it completely dark. I guess Stephanie thought I wouldn't stay. Chuckling to myself, I headed upstairs and quickly went to bed.

***

I didn't think this through.

I was too preoccupied with getting my feelings that I didn't think about the future. School would end in less than a week, with graduation a mere four days away. Soon it would be time to head for college, and everyone would go their separate paths. While I was going to the University of Baltimore, Thomas was going to Penn State and we couldn't get farther apart.

I couldn't think about this now. We still had a couple of months left. Knowing that I would go crazy if I kept thinking about this, I went downstairs where Stephanie and Giselle were playing Mario Kart on the couch.

Sitting down next to them, I saw Giselle effortlessly beat Stephanie at first place. Poor Steph was at 8th place.

"You suck sis." Was all Giselle said after she won again.

"Whatever. At least I have a life."

"What life?" I responded from behind. This earned me a glare from Steph and then she passed me the remote.

"You think you can do better. I bet you can't beat Giselle at first place."

"I've been playing this game with Clary for years. Trust me, I think I'll win."

I grabbed the remote from Stephanie and sat on the floor. Princess Peach was the avatar that she had chosen. No wonder she always lost. Princess Peach sucked. I switched my avatar to Yoshi. Giselle had Mario.

Yeah, I can definitely win this.

When the game started I soon caught up to Giselle at second place. She was a bit ahead but I planned to hit her with the green shell. Before I could though she said,