Of Parchment and Saltwater

Chapter 3

     New York Harbor was bustling with activity, British soldiers and civilians clamoring to see the ships come and go and holding their expensive treasures from the stores lining the docks. I kept my head down and satchel full of food and medicine close by.
     "Excuse me, Mister," I heard a woman call, grabbing me by the arm, "you simply must come in and have a drink. You look exhausted and we have the finest ale in the city. We've got plenty of ladies to keep you company, as well." The girl motioned to a tavern down the road and I broke free from her grasp, shaking my head fervently.
My hands shook as I approached the military ships and I cautiously approached a young boy around twelve years old, asking in a deep voice, "Could you tell me where I might find the Jersey prison ship?"
"Right over there," he answered kindly, pointing to the most enormous vessel I had ever seen, "My Pa works there and they're loading up food for the prisoners right now. You came at a good time, Mister."
I thanked him and adjusted Benjamin's cocked hat, angling it down so that the three corners concealed my face better. I'd never been so terrified in my life.
Picking up one of the huge crates stacked at the base of the gangway, I carried it onto the ship as if I were one of the hired helpers doing the same thing. There was an officer waiting on the deck, motioning absentmindedly for me to set it down close to the others. For such an infamous prison, it seemed laughably easy to gain access.
I slipped behind the scrutinizing watch of the soldiers and made my way down into the hull, immediately overcome by the stench.
A few guards were present at the bottom of the stairs but I avoided eye contact with them and they ignored me. It was obvious that everyone here wished they were somewhere else, and they were willing to put as little effort as possible into their jobs. I was glad, because it meant that they would set foot no further than the doorway for fear of disease or simply the smell. I had full freedom in the pits of death.
Starving prisoners reached for me eagerly, begging me to give them food and demanding that they were innocent. Most of them, I realized, were probably telling the truth.
     I knelt beside them and whispered, "I'm looking for my husband, Benjamin Tallmadge. He's a political prisoner. Have you seen him?" They shook their heads and continued their mumbling.
I knew of the horrors of the Jersey. Everyone did. But this. This was more than I could bear.
The men and women sat cramped tightly together, some naked, a few screaming and sobbing, some silent. Their ghastly countenances and delirious, hopeless, raving cries made me shake with anger. Their thin frames looked like pale phantoms, trapped in the misery of their suffering.
I bent next to each person, asking timidly if they knew the name Benjamin Tallmadge. The few that acknowledged me had never heard of him, the rest just stared blankly or grabbed madly at my face and clothes.
     Each corridor and room revealed more torture and death, and I desperately wished that there had been some mistake. Perhaps Benjamin had been sent to some other prison less barbaric.
     "Please sir," I whispered to the figure slouched against the thin wall, "do you know-"
     I gasped and pulled my hand back, squinting in the dim light of the lamp across the room. The man I had been speaking to was dead, and had already begun decomposing.
     Tears streamed down my face as I stumbled back from the corpse, running into a woman who was near death herself, rocking back and forth and wringing her hands. I almost passed out from terror.
     "Benjamin Tallmadge," I cried repeatedly, kneeling beside every person I could and begging for someone to help me.
     Suddenly, I turned from where I was crouched to see a young woman on the ground, a man hovering above her, holding her mouth closed as she tried to fight. I shuddered with furious rage and ran to them, pulling the attacker off of her with all the strength I could muster. I was much stronger than the famished prisoner, and the woman looked at me in amazement.
"What are you doing?" I cried, shoving the man roughly as he tried to retaliate against me, "Have you no respect and honor? Just because they treat you as beasts does not mean you must become one!"
     Bewildered, he gave me an obscene gesture and limped away with his pride demolished, leaving me with the trembling girl.  I pulled her into my arms and she buried her face in my chest, trying to catch her breath.
"Shhh," I whispered, "it is alright. What is your name?"
"Elizabeth Merriman. Forgive me...are you...a woman?"
I nodded and tipped my hat with a small smile, "I couldn't very well sneak onto the ship in a dress. But just rest, okay? I know what you're feeling."
She looked up at me gratefully and breathed, "Nobody has ever tried to stop them before. And I've never tried to stop them from doing it to others. Thank you."
     "Here," I said removing the satchel from my shoulder and discreetly handing it to her, "this is full of food and medicines. Use them sparingly and share with anyone who needs them. Each container is labeled with the symptoms it helps."
     Her jaw dropped as she rummaged through the bag quickly, pulling up her knees to hide it from the prying eyes of the prisoners around us.
     "I must go," I whispered, "Take care of yourself, alright? This war will be over soon; you have to stay alive until then. Goodbye!"
     She embraced me tightly and I hurried away, catching glares from the people around her.
I continued my search of the sprawling ship, losing hope with each passageway that led me deeper into the most neglected parts of the prison.
     "Benjamin Tallmadge?" I begged to a disease stricken man with barely enough strength to look at me. He shook his head in the dark light of the lantern and I turned away at the sight of sores all along his neck.
     "Please, have you seen my husband Ben-" I turned and ran straight into a man much taller than me, sending me stumbling back against the moldy wall. A guard.
     My heart sank as he grabbed my arm roughly, taking his other hand and rubbing the soot from my face, disguised to look like stubble.
     "What are you doing in here?" He demanded, holding me by the wrists as I struggled to escape his grip.
     "I'm just looking for someone, sir, please," I cried, "You mustn't arrest me." 
     The British guard began dragging me down the narrow corridor. "We will see what they say above-deck."
     I wanted to die. I was so close. Now, if the warden found out that I was on his ship, I'd be arrested or hanged. And Benjamin would surely suffer for my presence here. How could I have been so idiotic?
     The guard brought me over to a group of young soldiers standing around on the deck watching a group of prisoners throw bodies overboard, obviously annoyed that they had been disturbed.
"This woman was found sneaking around down there, is the warden in his office?"
The men exchanged glances and said in a low voice, "You better not go down there, Daniels, the warden is in a raving temper. Someone cheated him out of two hundred pounds of bread or something."
I was saved. "If you make me go down there," I threatened confidently, although I felt quite the opposite, "I will make the warden detest you for doing such a thing. I will elevate his temper, and that is quite an easy thing to do, is it not? You will lose your job and possibly find yourself on the end of a bayonet."
     The man knew how much damage I could do in there if the warden was truly as mad as they said.
     "Get her out of here," he mumbled resignedly, shoving me towards the other guards. They began dragging me towards the gangway and I entreated with them to simply let me see their prisoners records. I couldn't just leave without knowing; I'd come all this way.
     As I turned back one last time before being hauled down the narrow wooden gangway, I had to do a double take.
     Within the group of prisoners gathered together on the deck, waiting for more dead men to throw overboard, there was one unmistakable figure.
     "Benjamin," I breathed, barely able to force the name through my lips as I wrenched away from the guards holding me and cried, "Ben!"
     From his position kneeling beside an old man that had collapsed, I watched the recognition come over his face at the sound of my voice and he looked up in surprise.
I ran to him and fell to my knees in his arms, weeping and sobbing. He held my face in his hands in awe and brushed a piece of my short hair from my face with the most wonderful smile I'd ever seen.
His beard had grown and hair become curly and tangled, but the most striking thing was his face. Gaunt and pale, pain seemed constantly creased into his eyes. His gums were strangely bloody and lips cracked from dehydration, and there were bruises all along his forehead and jaw. Benjamin had scurvy.
"Look at you," he said softly with a tearful smile as the guards began to approach behind me.
"You're sick."
He nodded.
The soldiers grabbed my arms but I wrestled hard against them, breathing, "Benjamin, you must stay alive, I beg you. Find Elizabeth Merriman; I gave her food and medicine. I love y-"
One of the men punched me excruciatingly hard in the nose, forcing me to go unconscious for a few seconds and give up my hold on Benjamin.
"Please," I shrieked as they dragged me away, "You must let him go...I'll pay you whatever-"
Another hit to the face. I could hear Ben shouting as loudly as he could and my whole body trembled with anger. I had never longed for the death of anyone as much as I did the soldiers on that ship.
Blood dripping from my nose and tears streaming down my cheeks, they dropped me on the cobblestone street just off the gangway as they headed back onto the Jersey.
I looked back, hiccuping cries overtaking me as I imagined Benjamin's face over and over again. Full of newfound hope and yet so utterly hopeless at the same time, I laid there on the road, weeping.
"Excuse me, Madam," I heard above me, but I barely took notice, "but I believe I may be of some assistance to you, if you would permit me?"
To my astonishment, it was Robert Townsend standing over me with a hand outstretched, a sympathetic smile on his face.
With one hand in a feeble attempt to stifle the bleeding from my nose, I accepted his help and he whispered, "Don't draw attention to yourself; follow me."
     He gave me a handkerchief for the blood which I accepted gratefully, and I took my arm in his as we began walking. He gave me a quizzical look and said, "Men don't link arms when we walk, Louisa. Be less feminine."
     "Oh," I said with a sniff and a small smile, changing my posture and walk as much as I knew how. With my current emotions, it felt quite natural to be less poised.
     "I expect the full story when we get to Rivington's, yes?"
I nodded and pulled down my hat to hide my face as we neared the coffee and boarding house where Robert worked. I thought about the last time I had been there; just hours before I would be shot and captured by the Captain Simcoe and taken to Brooklyn. If only Benjamin had the same way of escape that I did.
"Ah, Mister Townsend," James Rivington said quietly when we entered, careful not to draw the attention of the whole room.
"Please don't send anyone upstairs," Robert replied, taking my hand and pulling me up the steps, "This is business."
To my astonishment, Rivington nodded knowingly. When we were out of earshot from him and the patrons, I whispered harshly, "How much does your partner know?"
He smiled. "Not much, but he helps me with my reports, believe it or not. Despite his loyalist beginnings, I've found that he's quite the patriotic sort, and that comes in handy when publishing the newspaper. Do not worry, Louisa, you are safe."
He led me into his room and dipped a rag into the washbasin in the corner, saying, "Here, wash off that blood. And tell me, what in heaven's name were you doing on the Jersey? It was lucky that I happened to be walking by; I look for Abigail every time they come ashore to bring in more provisions."
"I was looking for Benjamin. And I found him...it's just," I blinked back tears, "I fear he won't last long. He's extremely ill, that much was evident with one look. And the guards didn't take too kindly to my presence on their ship."
     He motioned for me to sit on the luxurious chaise lounge, obviously property of the boardinghouse, not Robert himself.
     "I'm so sorry, Louisa. I know what you are feeling and I'm afraid to tell you the emotion never goes away. But there is still hope. In fact," he said, leaning behind his chair to retrieve a letter and hand it to me, "I am writing to Washington now with my latest report."
     Taking it into my hands, I skimmed it quickly.  "...the clearest and unequivocal Proofs that the independence of America is unconditionally to be acknowledged, nor will there be any conditions insisted on for those who have joined the King's Standard...Sir Guy Carleton himself says that he thinks it not improbable that the next Packet may bring orders for an evacuation of N. York."
     I could feel my heartbeat quicken as I read the words I'd been longing to hear for so long. An evacuation of New York was all that stood between us and the end of the war and Washington had been adamant that a treaty wouldn't be signed until that happened. And if a British governor believed the end was near, it must be so.
"Of course," Robert added, "it still may be months before this comes to pass...if it does at all." I nodded, knowing he was right but still brimming with hope.
     He poured me a cup of tea and said, "When do you plan to leave New York? I do hope you'll  allow me to make you something for dinner, although I have to work downstairs so I can't eat with you."
     I smiled and accepted the warm teacup gratefully. "I don't want to be an imposition, but I must admit that I am more than a little hungry. You needn't make a feast, and certainly don't feel pressed to stay and entertain me; your job is of the utmost importance to us all."
     Robert and I talked for almost an hour as he prepared a small portion of meat and potatoes for the two of us, the conversation alternating between trivial matters and subjects which made my heart sting at the very thought of them. But it was good to tell someone everything.
     At six o'clock, he apologized repeatedly for having to leave me and promised to come back as soon as he got another chance.
     "Please, Robert, do not trouble yourself. I can easily find something to do in all these books you have here."
     He smiled and locked the door behind himself on his way out, leaving me alone in the quaint living quarters. After devouring the meal, I scanned the books and treatises and pamphlets on Robert's shelf, Benjamin's coat tails dragging on the floor as I crouched down.
Running my finger along the bindings, I removed a few medical journals, returned to the chair, and began reading. Halfway through a treatise on scurvy that left me with a terrible pit in my stomach, I found myself drifting into sleep. I had suffered enough for one day.

Okay guys first of all shoutout to my OG readers Ivory_Pawz , tacotuesdays , liberiangirl87 FOR BEING AMAZING READERS AND COMMENTING AND BEING LOVELY AND NICE AND APPRECIATING MY STORY YALL ROCK.
also, I know that my picture thing for this chapter is NOT Bennyboy played by the lovely Seth Numrich and I know that he would have A MUCH SICKER, BEARDIER FACE BUT I JUST LOVE THIS EXPRESSION AND ITS SO MUCH HOW I IMAGINE BEN WHEN HE HEARS LOUISAS VOICE OKAY OKAY

ALSO IMPORTANT ANNOUNCEMENT: I'm going to be leaving on a mission trip to Haiti EARLY Sunday morning (the 22nd) and I won't get back until LATE the next Sunday night so I🙃won't 🙃be🙃able🙃to🙃write

BUT ITS OKAY GUYS ILL COME BACK WITH PLENTY OF FRESH IDEAS I KNOW IT AND IM SUPER EXCITED IM GOING TO HAVE SUCH AN EXPERIENCE SHOWING THE LOVE GOD'S GIVEN ME TO OTHER PEOPLE AND MEETING NEW PEOPLE AND GETTING OUT OF MY COMFORT ZONE AND SLEEPING WIHOUT A PILLOW FOR A WEEK (seriously how am I gonna do it??)
SO YEAH...if I don't answer your comments or PM's next week...that's why