Of Parchment and Saltwater

Chapter 19

     I awoke to Samuel crying, and Benjamin groaned. Stuffing my head under the pillow, I sighed and tried to convince myself to get up again.
     Before I could, Ben rolled out of bed and stumbled towards the door.
     "Get back in here!" I said groggily, "He needs to be fed; there's no reason for both of us to wake up...especially since you're expected at work early tomorrow. I've got it tonight."
     He put a finger to my lips and whispered, "I'll bring him here to you, Louisa. Just stay in bed; you can nurse him here. You haven't had a peaceful sleep in a month and a half, and I take partial responsibility. Stay...that's an order."
     I wasn't going to argue. Samuel had thrown our lives into a chaotic excitement and I loved every minute of it, although the lack of sleep was something I'd grown unaccustomed to in the years since the war.
     A few minutes later, Benjamin and I sat up in bed, Samuel silently resting against my chest.
     "I miss spying," I said softly, rubbing the almost two-month old boy's face, "but I do believe he's worth giving it up forever. Which do you like better, Ben: being Head of Intelligence or father and husband?"
     He cocked his head and stretched his arm around me. "I miss the adventure, being young and scared and having fun all the time, but this is certainly where I belong now. You and I both know how impossible it would be to have a family in that war. Besides, I have a feeling that Washington wants me to run for the House of Representatives during the next election; I may very well be taking a step back into the world of political affairs, hmm?"
     "Benjamin Tallmadge!" I exclaimed as I rocked Samuel back and forth, "You say that as though you weren't sure if you were going to accept the President's request! You must run if you have the chance; I know you'd love it."
     "But I'd have to leave you for long periods of time, darling, and I just couldn't-"
     I pressed my lips to his and laughed. "I'll manage. Besides, I've got little Samuel here to keep me company. Washington's orders, yes?"
     He rolled his eyes and rested his head on my shoulder. "Remember the night I came back from my first battle? You helped take care of my wounded troops and I was furious that Doctor Benjamin Rush had assigned you to my dragoon regiment. You know, after our argument the first time you operated on one of my soldiers."
     "I remember quite well," I said with a small smile, "You were covered in blood and shaking uncontrollably but your ego certainly was still there, hmm? All you did was stand over me and correct everything I did!"
     "I was only shaking from excitement!"
I scoffed. "You can't fool me, Major Tallmadge. I could see the look in your eyes. You were terrified."
"That was the first time in my life that I had witnessed the awful scene of a battle, when man was engaged to destroy his fellow man. I well remember my sensations on the occasion, Louisa, as you well know, for they were solemn beyond description. Very hardly could I bring my mind to be willing to attempt the life of a fellow-creature, and seeing you in the medical tent certainly didn't help my feelings that night."
     Samuel made a small noise and Benjamin slipped his forefinger into his fist with an adoring smile. The pride whenever he looked at our son made me swell with happiness. It was obvious he didn't simply care about having a male heir or a childbearing wife; he truly loved Samuel.
     "But you still married me, despite my disagreeable nature," I said quietly as a cricket began to chirp outside our windows. Moonlight shone through onto the oak floors in beautiful rays.
     "You are undoubtedly the most agreeable damsel I've ever laid eyes on, darling Louise. I certainly thought so in New Haven when Nathan and I met you. And our second meeting when I came to collect intelligence from you and you rode with me all the way to Germantown? That quite delighted me. And, despite the few episodes of my passionate pride, you must have known how much I wanted to be your husband."
     I looked at him with raised eyebrows. "I most certainly did not know, Benjamin Tallmadge! I remember writing to an old friend about how terribly insolent you were, although most assuredly handsome. You were on the high ropes about my position as your dragoon surgeon, and I was determined to make you even more angry. Being your wife? I would have never imagined such a thing."
     We both laughed at the strange turn of events that had overcome us. I was the most happy I'd ever been in my life, and it was because of the very Calvary boy that tormented me day and night in 1778.
     Every time I would bring him an intelligence report from Long Island or New York, he'd stand to block the view of his eternally untidy tent and hold out his hand with an upturned nose, unwilling to show any emotion. I remembered clearly my indignation at such a display of immaturity. So I returned it.
     "And the day you came into camp with a bullet wound of your own," I said as I stood to gently rock Samuel to sleep, "and I was the only doctor around? You ought to know I was tempted to leave the bullet in your shoulder just out of spite, Ben."
     "I wouldn't have blamed you."
     "You should have seen your face when you woke up in bed with no clothes on," I continued with a grin, "and I was mending your uniform in the corner. You were like a wounded peacock with its feathers cut off!"
Benjamin stood up and followed me into the nursery to put Samuel down. "I was not!" He exclaimed in a whisper, "I remember thinking, 'I must tell Nathan about this new turn of events concerning the famous Louisa from New Haven.'" I scoffed.
"Come on, Lou," he said, taking my hand at the top of the steps, "May I have this dance?"
"What? It is the middle of the night! We have no music!"
"Won't you sing?"
I laughed and rolled my eyes. "I am your humble servant, Major." We raced down the stairs and he played a few high notes on the pianoforte with a flourish of his hand as I put on a dressing gown over my shift.
"What shall I sing for us on this night, Monsieur Tallmadge?" I asked with a curtsy, taking his hand in the dark parlor.
"That dreadful song Caleb likes so much; have you recollection of the words?"
"Spanish Ladies?" I cried with a snicker, "The one he sang the whole way to New Hampshire on that one assignment from Washington? I remember every word."
Light rain began to fall outside and thunder rolled in the distance, creating a beautiful atmosphere in our parlor as he bowed deeply.
     I sang softly, trying to stifle my laughs as he led me in an elegant French dance to the drinking song.
     Pulling the ribbon that held his hair in a braid with a smile, I gracefully stepped around him with one hand in the air. He took my arm in his and we waltzed up and down the room, nodding to invisible people as though we were the king and queen.
     When the dance was finished, he bowed with a twinkle in his eye and I curtsied in response. Samuel began to cry again, and we both looked at each other with exasperated smiles.
     "Shall we even try to go to sleep anymore? There is no use! He is probably afraid of the storm."
     I nodded. "I'll go put him back to bed; you ought to try to get some semblance of a good night's rest. I don't think Litchfield will appreciate a sleep—deprived Mr. Tallmadge. The town can't run without you, it seems!"
     He laughed and put his forehead on my shoulder, sweaty from our dance, as we walked back upstairs as more lighting cracked.
     "I love you, darling," he whispered outside of our room, "Are you sure you don't want me to help you?"
    "Sleep. Wake me before you leave for town, alright?"

     The next morning, Benjamin woke me up gently, running his hand along my spine and holding Samuel in the other.
     "Louisa? I'm on my way to the post office but I have to tell you something. I'm sorry to bother you."
     I rolled over and brushed the hair out of my mouth, squinting at him inquisitively.
     "You're the best kind of bother, darling," I replied, sitting up beside him, "what is it?"
     He took my hands in his and sighed deeply, as though unsure whether he should continue. "You know the French Revolution? The Legislative Assembly passed a decree of impeachment on King Louis XVI, apparently."
     I gasped. "What will that mean for the Marquis? He has to get out of there...he'll face the guillotine if he stays in France! We could smuggle him here to America, Ben! We could-"
     "Louisa," he interrupted, " he's already attempted that. He's been captured and taken prisoner."
     My heart dropped. Lafayette was a prisoner.
     "Is—is Washington going to get him out? Is he in Paris, or did they move him to Marseilles?"
     "Prussia. He's not in France, Lou, he was captured by Austrian and Prussian forces at the border. Lafayette is at the fortress in Westphalia."
     The words dripped from my lips like blood as I tried to comprehend what Benjamin was saying. Any hope of getting him out or even easing their treatment were dashed.
     "Prussia."
     "Yes, my dear. I'm sorry. As soon as I get home tonight, I'll sit down and write to Washington, Alexander, and even Thomas Jefferson if I have to. He's going to be alright; I'm sure of it."
     I nodded, truly believing it but imagining what the energetic, young Marquis de Lafayette was feeling at that moment. I thought of the horrors I'd seen looking for Benjamin on the HMS Jersey, and knew that they were merely child's play compared to what the Austro-Prussian coalition could dream up for a world-famous supporter of democracy. Lafayette was going to suffer terribly; everyone knew it.
     "Does the American public know yet?" I asked shakily, helping Benjamin get his dark blue coat on. He shook his head.
     "They will soon...whether the President would like it that way or not. Perhaps it will work in our favor, you know? Urge America into action to save their French hero?"
     I wanted to believe him. Taking Samuel into my arms and kissing Ben's neck, I blinked back tears as I walked with him outside to Highlander, already tied up and saddled.
"Come home quickly, Calvary boy," I whispered, trying not to cry, "I don't want to lose you too."
He smiled a little from atop his horse and tugged on my hair. "I'd never let you lose me. Je suis pour toujours, Louise."
I laughed a little and wiped away a tear. "And I am forever yours."