Of Parchment and Saltwater

Chapter 11

     Alexander stayed with me all night, hunched over in the chair he'd pulled beside the bed with his head buried in a treatise on economics. I couldn't even express how much I appreciated it.
     As the mourning doves began to sing outside the window and rays of sunlight seeped through the windows, I reached for his hand weakly.
     "I'm going to go see my husband," I whispered, attempting to sit up, "Can you help?"
     He furrowed his eyebrows and stood up, trying to stop me from moving any more than I needed to. I ignored him and swung my legs around, letting them hit the cold hardwood as I grimaced in pain.
     "Louisa!" He exclaimed, "I can't let you do this! The doctors will have your head if they find you in William's room."
     "Well then, it is certainly a wonderful thing that I have you to handle them, yes?"
     I tried to stand, putting almost all of my weight on the beside table before collapsing. Out of panic and habit, I braced my fall with my injured right hand and cried out in agony as the pain sliced through my arm.
     Alexander knelt beside me and took my face in his hands incredulously. "What are you thinking? You can't walk, Louisa. Listen to me."
     I began pulling myself up again, grunting, "Alex, I'm going to see Benjamin. Whether you help me or not is your choice."
     He rolled his eyes at my use of his nickname and held me up with a sigh of resignation. "Ben won't be happy that I let you up there," he said as I leaned against him, "and I'm not going to take the blame this time, Mademoiselle." I nodded with a small smile.
     "You of all people, Alexander, seem quite worried about breaking rules, hmm? It seems so much has changed."
     "Not as much as you'd like to think, dear."
     As we reached William's room where Benjamin was, I motioned for Alexander to go in first and see if he was awake. He quickly came back out with a smile on his face and whispered, "I'll wait outside."
     I gathered up all my strength and stumbled inside, unable to contain my excitement as his face lit up. His legs were still there, covered in layers and layers of woolen blankets, and his eyes were full of exhaustion and sadness, made better only by his surprise at seeing me. His eyes fluttered open and he tried in vain to sit up.
     "Lou," he said softly as I ran to him and embraced him, sliding under the blankets beside him, "I've missed you."
Tears streaming down my face, I pressed my bruised and bleeding lips to his and wept, "I'm so sorry, Benjamin. I've lost your daughter."
He pulled me close and took my good hand. "My daughter? You know it was a girl, Louisa?" I nodded sorrowfully and wiped tears from my eyes. "The doctor told me." I could feel him sobbing.
     "I'm going to kill Simcoe if I ever see him again," he managed, his shaking arms around my shoulders comfortingly.
    "They'll find him, Ben. They've got people looking for him right now. You just need to," My voice cracked as tears rose to my eyes, "just make yourself able to walk again. Please."
     As we cried together, he whispered, "Maria."
     "What?"
     He smiled a little. "It means 'wished-for child.' We need something to put on her grave, yes?"
     I cocked my head, imitating him, and embraced him. He knew how to make me happy even in the worst times. I loved Maria.
     "Can I see your legs?" I asked, sitting up shakily and trying to hide my pain. He pulled away the blankets to reveal a sickening sight.
     Wooden splints made by the doctor held his legs in place, blood-soaked bandages wrapped tightly around his legs. The operation seemed to be running in stages, and they didn't appear to be finished yet. I put my trembling hand to my mouth as the gravity of the situation hit me.
     "Ben," I breathed, "I...I don't know what to-"
     He took my hand and tried to smile. "I'm afraid, Louise. What if I can never walk again? What if we never take another walk in your garden or go to the market together? What if you have to be resigned to life caring for a crippled man who can't even provide for his own wife?"
      I shook my head adamantly and kissed his hand with tears running down my face. "That won't happen. And even if you don't walk again, it would be my honor to take care of you. 'Obey him and serve him, love, honor and keep him, in sickness and in health.' And I plan to, Benjamin Tallmadge."
     He pulled me down from a sitting position and down to his level, touching my nose to his and chuckling a little. "What did I do to deserve a wife like you?"
     "You captivated me, Ben. You're handsome and kind and loyal and strong and really, really headstrong."