Of Parchment and Saltwater

Chapter 5

     "Lucy?" Lydia peeked her head into my bedroom where I had been writing a letter to Eliza Hamilton, skipping inside and sitting comfortably on the bed, "There's some rich men waiting downstairs for you to see them. Mama sent me up here to tell you."
     Intrigued, I set down my letter and slipped my fingers into her's, letting her lead me downstairs. It had been a few weeks since my visit to the Jersey and things had settled into a melancholy normal without Benjamin.
To my surprise, Alexander and Lafayette were standing together in the parlor when I walked in with Lydia. Mary was to the side, dusting the mantle.
They both rushed to me and Alexander took my arms, saying in a harsh whisper, "Vous avez des esclaves, Louise?"
"What? No!" I exclaimed in return to their belief that I owned slaves, realizing they had spoken in French assuming that Mary wouldn't understand what they were saying.
"Then who is that?" Lafayette whispered in French, gesturing to Mary, "And that," Hamilton added as Lydia skipped through the hallway to meet her mother.
Mary and I exchanged a smiling glance as the men questioned me; she understood exactly what they were saying.
"Alexander, Lafayette, this is Mary and her daughter Lydia and they are very good friends of mine. Certainly not slaves."
She curtsied gracefully and said, "C'est un plaisir de vous rencontrer, Monsieurs Hamilton and Du Motier." I bit my lip to keep from laughing at their bewildered expression at hearing such beautiful French from her.
     Attempting to cover their surprise, Lafayette said in English, "And it is a pleasure to meet you, as well, Madame." 
     "Do sit down," I told them, "We were just preparing coffee. I am in the middle of writing to your wife, Alexander, but perhaps the letter is no longer necessary, now that you are here."
He smiled and leaned forward across from me, putting his arms on his knees. "Eliza tells me every time one of your letters falls into her hands; I know she loves them. How are you, dear Louisa?"
     I swallowed hard and lied, "I am alright, thank you. Have you heard any more news of the treaty? I'm anxious to finally see the end at last...and the evacuation of New York."
     Lafayette and Alexander exchanged glances. They knew how desperately I awaited the news that the Jersey had been decommissioned as a prison ship and New York freed of British occupation. That meant freedom for Benjamin.
"General Washington is trying," the Marquis said, unable to take his eyes off my black mourning dress with a forlorn look in his eyes, "but it has been a difficult process for him, even since Yorktown. Another reason for our visit, Louise, is that I am leaving for France next week. My country calls me to service there and, although I regret leaving tremendously, I'm eager to bring to Versailles the same principles we've bled for here. This is my goodbye."
I didn't know what to say. This had been coming for so long and we all knew it. But now that the day was here, I couldn't bear the thought of saying goodbye to one of the most faithful friends I'd ever had, probably never to be seen again.
     "Do not despair," he said, "I will not let this be the end, I promise. You will see me again."
     Alexander looked down at his lap and I knew he did not believe that, at least not for himself. And I could hardly imagine Washington's feelings at that moment, preparing to lose his best friend, closest confidant, and practically his adopted son.
     Lafayette looked at me with pursed lips, a bit of his red hair escaping from the pristine wig as he sipped the coffee Mary had brought to us all.
     "Must you leave so quickly?" I said softly, "Couldn't you stay...just until the war is resolved? You could even stay here if you'd like, we have an extra bedroom and-"
     "Louisa. I have not seen my dear Adrienne since 1778 nor my young son since he was born. I just can't stay. Forgive me."
     Blinking back tears, I shook my head. "Do not apologize, Lafayette. It is terrible for me to even suggest such a thing. But Alexander," I added, "why are you here?"
     He sighed and ran his hands through his ponytail. "I suppose news of South Carolina has not yet reached Connecticut. Colonel Laurens...has been killed."
I gasped. "Oh, Alexander," I gushed, putting my hand to my mouth, unable to express my empathy. 
     There were tears in both of the soldier's eyes and I tightened my grip on the edge of the chair, barely comprehending their words. The war was practically over, and yet it seemed that it would never stop stealing lives.
"First dear Benjamin," Lafayette muttered, "and now we've lost John as well. And I cannot grieve with either of you in France."
Alexander was trying desperately to hold his composure but I knelt beside him and pulled Lafayette with me, enveloping the two of them in a tearful embrace. We cried like that for a long time, feeling so connected through our shared sorrow. Nobody hated this war more than it's greatest heroes.
The Marquis gave a little laugh and ran his fingers through my short hair with tears still streaming down his face. "Your hair, Louisa..."
"I know," I sniffed with a small smile, "You can blame Benjamin."
The three of us laughed and sobbed together and it made me realize how much of my life I owed to them. I'd grown up beside them, patched up their many wounds, made them more bowls of potato soup than I could count, and received their advice on everything from what kind of linen was the best for mending petticoats to my relationship with Benjamin. These were my best friends.
I stood to my feet and took a deep breath, saying, "I ought not keep you two any longer, I'm sure you have many places to visit today."
     Lafayette embraced me tightly, letting me bury my face in his chest and cry, and whispered, "We will meet again, Mademoiselle. I know it. Do not despair over me."
     "I can't help it," I quavered, "You will write to me, oui?" He nodded with a small smile.
     "Merci, Louisa, merci for being so kind. And I'm so," he paused as if unable to make the words come out, "so sorry for everything that you have been forced to endure. If you ever visit France, I can promise the most lovely room in Versailles."
     I laughed softly. "Doesn't that belong to the king?"
     "Even the great Louis XVI will bow to a heroine such as yourself," he said with mock seriousness, "But in any case, I urge you to visit me sometime, Mademoiselle. My dear Adrienne would be overjoyed to meet you."
     He pulled me close as I tried to blink back tears and I sobbed, "Don't forget about me."
     "Never."
     As they pulled away in a beautiful carriage, I put my forehead to the window and took a piece of the curtains in my fist angrily. How could I have lost everyone like this? The last time I said goodbye to someone here, they were doomed to an excruciating death on a Tory prison ship. And now, the Marquis de Lafayette was about to throw himself in front of a nation in violent turmoil, probably to never be seen again. And I just let them go.
      "Louisa? Are you alright?" Jack limped into the parlor, still recovering from the disease he had when I first met him, and flung himself onto the settee, curiously awaiting my answer.
I sniffed and nodded miserably. "I am, Jack, thank you for asking. It is just that my dear friend is leaving for France next week and we have all lost another close friend of ours to the British army. But it will be okay. You know what it's like to be sad, don't you? You've experienced more than I probably ever will."
He cocked his head and replied frankly, "I used to hate white women, Louisa. They never listened to me when I was sad and hit me all the time. But I don't hate you; I think you're the most wonderful lady in the whole world, next to my mama. You always listen to me and ask me questions and you haven't even hit me once! So it makes me feel terrible when you feel terrible...is that good or bad?"
I smiled and sat beside him. "Aye, I suppose that's a good thing, but you can still be happy even if I'm not, you know that, right?"
"I know. But I just wish bad things didn't happen to you so much because you're my friend...you even helped me walk again!"
His broad grin made me see myself in him; his longing for people to love and affirm him and the intense empathy he couldn't help feeling for others. Perhaps he'd be a doctor one day.
     "Jack, would you like to come to the market with me next week? I could surely use your help with the horses."
     In reality, I just wanted to spend time with him and let him tell me more of his story; I felt there was much more than he first let on.
"Certainly, Mrs. Louisa," he cried, "Just you and I?"
I nodded with a small smile. "Shall I escort you to dinner, dear Jack? I do believe we shall become the best of friends, even more than we are now."

YALL THE NEXT CHAPTER IS GONNA BE EMO IM SO EXCITED