Kematian Chester someway trigger my feelings. Early years of age aku dengar LP punya lagu famous je such numb, in the end. Lepas tu tak ikut pun sebab tak ada akses dan masa study muzik aku tak stabil baru baru kenal butter layan indie.
Start last year ikut balik LP sebab crush (this long different story so let it end here).
Proses sebelum one more light keluar aku memang follow kat youtube setiap lagu baru keluar dari heavy , the battle symphony sampai whole album siap. Dalam masa yang sama aku dengar balik lagu-lagu lama. Beli itunes album living things.
One more light walaupun ramai orang kutuk kata LP dah hilang identiti tapi aku rasa antara favourite kot sebab aku dengar lagu by lyrics. Semua lirik lagu dia explain apa yang aku rasa and tak dapat explain.
Aku rasa mula tahun ni aku jadi makin teruk. Last year having few simptom tapi tahun ni aku rasa aku berada pada tahap paling bawah sekali dalam semua benda. Anxiety and depression keep hunting me. Not with clinical prescription but i can feel the simptom take me away from my body.
You know listen to this new album some way makes me feel better. Aku struggle serius struggle. Knowing about Chester stories aku rasa macam its okay i'll get better.
Dapat tahu Chester mati bunuh diri makes me startled . Serius. I was like why... how depression can kills without a hint or an alarm. Aku baru tengok mv talking to myself the same day when he took his life. I feel great bila tengok Chester perform with full of energy. Follow their videos buat kau percaya yang he is okay. Dia kelakar dia fun crazy yet wise. The way he speak and giving an opinion it was like wow. Aku dalam fasa relapse and dapat tahu pasal Chester bunuh diri ni someway buat rasa macam kecewa gila. I cried watching one of his perfomamce in Birmingham sang one more light. Im not that kind of fan girly. But kau tahu its suck to struggle in life. When theres no way out. I take music as my remedies but how can i belive to his words anymore.
Music for me is more than how i love artist or entertainment. More than how they looks. Songs is my therapy way to cool down. Aku tak tahu nak cerita macam mana tapi kematian Chester bagi kesan pada aku. Kisah tentang berakhirnya sebuah perjuangan. Aku rasa kesian. Sebab I know how its feel having depression, maybe not in the exact degree of depression but I know its tiring. May be life too hard for you Chester. Rest In Peace. You will be missed for ever. For now I cant really listen to their songs. Ini kali pertama aku rasa this bad when someone who never know I exist, died.
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Diari depresi
PoetryIt is about my Illnes. I write because I can't "speak". Kadang-kadang kita hanya perlu seseorang yang tanya 'Are you okey?' Atau 'Anything to share?' tapi bila tiada maka kau sendiri tanya dan cerita. Sebab untuk tanggung semuanya dan terus simpan i...
