Diari depresi

The worst

The lies we told ourself the most is
We'll be okay someday.
We'll be rich, we'll be success, we'll be happy.
We say it so we can feel better
Even if we are in the most terrible situation
When we are full of frustrations
When everything seems impossible and you are exhausting.
We say we'll be okay half heartedly, cluelessly and even doubting if that day will come.
Then, even if we get everything will we feel fulfilled?
Will all the wounds and pain disappeared?
What if we don't?
Did having all these struggles are meant to be okay one fine day that you have no idea when will that day be?
Is it wrong to have some white lies so you can forget about being hurts in the meantime?
No, it's not.
How we feel is depends on how we believe it should be.
But false hope, denial and toxic positivity might killing you inside slowly.
So, whatever you feel now in each minutes and seconds matter.
Say it when you feel unfair, mad, exhausted.
Let it out.
Say it out loud.
It is not how you feel in future matter.
But how you are right now.
You can't guarantee you can make it till the next day, one fine day or future.
What if it will never come?
Just shout it out.
How you feel matter.
If your are hurt and broken
Admit it.
Acknowledge your feels
Even if no one cares about you
Just express all those feelings.
Don't keep inside.
That will be the worst.
————

So this how I feel right now.
Life is unfair.
I'm tired.
Why always be me.
Mess.
In mess.
Hate everything
And fuck.
If this will make me strong in future
So let me be the weakest tonight.