Diari depresi

Suicidal

*WARNING : This writing might trigger. Do not continue if you are struggling*

Suicide is never a joke.
Not as easy as it seems.
I can tell you that, those who choose that way
Can't find any other way to end the pain
I don't meant that, that was the only way but perhaps
They wasn't had enough help to get things out from what they hold inside
Till the last breath they take they was afraid, fear, sad.
They wasn't selfish to left those who love them, but they can't bear to witnesses those who they love suffer, they don't want to burden anyone.

Today is the day when Chester said goodbye to the world three years ago. On my bad days listened to him sing whenever I was full awake the whole night
I still can remember how it feels knowing that devastating news. Two days ago one of my fav actor who I watched whenever things are so hard for me, just to have some laugh and healing, did the same.

Suicidal is not a joke. If you ever think about it, please don't keep to yourself get out, get a help. When you find the world seems to turn their back on your just please don't give up yet. Get a help please. Please don't take it as a choice, you deserve to live a better life.

When I was once attempt to do so, the last time I was remember was what if I never wake up again, will I be happy that I can end the pain? But for the second chance I got, I'm more thankful that HE let me breathing again.

For the all pain I endure till today, I wish one day, I can smile again proudly and be happy, until that day I wish, We, you and me can we just hold on for another day, everyday?

Please don't give up, yet.
It is hard I know. But just don't. You know you don't want this.

If you need some one to talk to and no one is there for you, you may share with me, if you are having ideation or attempt please go to nearest healt facility or contact Befrienders. Please take care.