15. Cure

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Shawn's perspective

"Shaaawn ! Please stop !"

"Why ? You're so cute when you laugh."

It's true. She was beautiful when she was laughing because of my tickling.

"No, I'm not ! I look like shit." She whined but laughed at the same time.

"Oh shut up, baby. I will show you how beautiful you are." I said as I kissed her soft lips, ready to let her know how much I loved her.

*

"Shawn ? What are you doing ?" My mother's voice brings me back to real life, making me shake my head.

"N-Nothing." I say with a low voice, almost inaudible.

"What were you thinking about, darling ? What's going on, Shawn ? We haven't seen you since this morning."

I hesitate before answering. Should I tell her ? Should I tell her that I'm thinking about her again ? I know what she's going to say, she always tells me the same things over and over again. But fuck it, I need to talk. I can't keep my thoughts for myself anymore.

"Her, mom, her. She's haunting me." I say as tears start to form at the corner of my eyes.

She sighs and walks to my bed to finally sit next to me. She caresses my cheek with the back of her hand, wiping my tears away, as she takes a deep breath.

"Shawn, I've already told you that you have to move on. She's gone, Shawn. You're hurting yourself, and you don't need that right now. Just forget her."

More burning tears are rolling down my cheeks. I knew it... I knew she was going to say that.

"You always tell me the same thing ! But I can't, Mom ! I can't ! She was my everything, and now, I'm all alone. I fucking loved her, and I still do." I scream, getting up from the bed for a brief moment. "Why did she leave me ? Why did she leave me ?" I finally breath out and sit back down, tears blurring my vision.

I rest my head on her shoulder and cry loudly, letting all my emotions explode after a whole month without daring. She hugs me and tries to calm me down, but fails as the thought of her beautiful face crosses my mind again.

"Shh, Shawn. Don't cry." Her thumb is stroking my damp cheek, hoping it can soothe me a bit.

Ten minutes later, I finally stop crying and wipe the tears away from my cheeks with the sleeve of my hoodie. I stay a few more minutes in my mother's arms before burying my head in my large hands, elbows resting on my thighs. Nobody is speaking, and the room is filled with a pure silence, until another voice breaks it.

"Karen, Shawn."

I look up at this person, and my breath hitches when my eyes find hers.

She is here, in my room, a few feet away from me.

"Aaliyah opened the door and told me I could climb upstairs, but... I-I can leave if-" She is playing with her fingers, really not at ease.

"No !" I scream involuntarily, wanting her to stay.

She gives me a weird look, and I sigh, mentally slapping myself for my reaction.

"Heum... I-I mean, you don't bother us. W-Why are you here ?"

Before Y/N can say anything, my mother exits the room, leaving the both of us alone. She is mad at Y/N for letting me down like that, but I know she doesn't really hate her. She can't hate anyone, she's too kind for that.

"I just came because I left my necklace here, the one my Granny gave me. I-I'd like to have it back. It means so much to me, you know."

My heart breaks into a millon pieces again. For a minute, I thought she was here for me, but I guess this necklace has more value than me.

"Oh... Yeah... I put it there when I found it." I say as I raise up from my bed and walk to my shelf, right above my desk. I can't help but use a cold and disgusted tone.

"Shawn..." I hear her say as my back is still facing her.

I turn around slowly and look in her eyes. Pain and sadness are filling them, but not as much as mine.

"I've never meant to hurt you, you know."

"But you did..." I respond and turn my back at her again, resting both of my hands flat on the desk. "I've been a real mess since you left me. I don't fucking understand why you did that." I whisper, feeling more tears coming up. My voice is threatening to crack at any moment.

"Shawn..." She whispers my name again. My heart is about to explode... I need to see her. I face her again and catch her eyes starting to water. This simple sight cuts my heart even deeper. I hate to see her cry even if sometimes I tell myself she deserves it, but immediately regret it afterwards.

"If I left you, it was because I didn't know what to think. I was so fucking lost... I was toxic for you and for my relatives. You didn't need a depressed girlfriend who was always upset, mad, and annoying because she couldn't contain herself."

My eyes can't leave her face, her lips moving as words escape her mouth, and her eyes all glossy and red.

"Y/N, you've never been toxic for me, the lack of you has been. You know I'm happy when I'm with you. I don't care if you need to cry in my arms or scream at me or at the world because you need to express your feelings. I'll always be there for you, and you know that."

"I'm just a depressed girl, Shawn. It's the best for the both of us."

I grab her wrists to catch her attention and look deep into her eyes.

"Y/N, I'm nothing without you. Please, let me love you and cheer you up. You can't demand me to stop loving you... I-I can't... You are what brings me happiness. Let me love you again. It won't be easy, and I know that, but please..."

She looks down at her feet and chews her bottom lip before whimpering.

"Shawn ..."

"Y/N."

Her eyes find mine, and I can see she's holding back some tears. Her lower lip is trembling slightly as well.

"Let it go. Cry, baby." I whisper, pressing her body against my torso, her head onto my chest.

I feel her arms wrapping around me, and her crying are now audible. I rest my chin on the top on her head and stroke her hair. Her body feels so good against mine even though she trembling and breathing extremely hard.

"Let me help you, let me be your cure."

"I miss you, Shawn. I can't keep going like that." I've never heard her cry like this. It's so deep and hurtful...

"I miss you too, baby. I miss you so much."

A few minutes later, we're still hugging each other, but she has stopped crying. She needs the protection of my arms around her, I know it. And I need her heart beat against my chest, she knows it.

"I need you in my life, Shawn."

I sigh in relief and kiss her forehead, almost crying again because she wants me back after so many days of pain.

"I need you too, Y/N. Please, never leave me again."

"Promise."

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Ok this one was shitty.

But look at his face ! Oh my god my heart is melting, he looks so good and mature.

Shawn Mendes ImaginesUnde poveștirile trăiesc. Descoperă acum