Shawn Mendes Imagines

25. Lonely Christmas

Shawn's perspective

Do you know what it feels like to spend your Christmas Eve alone ? Probably not. Yet, I do.

Coming back from tour, being told you've changed a lot, and maybe even too much, having nobody at the end of the day. That's what happened to me.

Every friend I had, every family member, they all turned their backs at me after my world tour. Did I really change that much through this year ? Yes, of course, my self-confidence has been boosted, and I feel really better in my skin than before, but... Am I too cocky now ? Or maybe was that some rumors about me ? I really don't know, I'm so confused...

Well, the only thing I know is that I'm currently spending my Christmas' Eve alone in my big apartment, a glass of wine as my only friend here. I didn't even bother to change after the shooting I had earlier. When I came home, I just took a bottle of wine and a glass, put some music in the background, and sat on my comfortable couch, thinking about a tone of things.

My glass now empty, I pour myself another one for the third time tonight. It isn't the best wine I own in my collection, but I guess it does the trick for now. I run a hand through my curly hair and sigh once before bringing the glass to my lips, the taste of fine alcohol on my tongue. I then hum the melody of the song slightly and open a button of my shirt to let me breathe a bit more. Some time passes like this, me, my brain, and my glass.

Suddenly, three knocks on the door scare me. I was lost deep in my thoughts.  I eventually decide to stand up from the couch seconds later, and I walk to the wooden door of my apartment, feeling a bit dizzy.

Once I open it, an unfamiliar but pretty face appears in front of me. I swear I can see her pupils widen when she first glances at me, but she quickly blinks a few times and begins to speak.

"Hum... G-Good evening and merry Christmas. I'm Y/N Y/L/N, and I'm a volunteer for a charity organization which helps children suffering from cancer to achieve their dreams. These are our purposes and our actions." She says as she hands me a flyer that I read quickly before turning my attention back to her.

"To reach our goals, we naturally need money, and that's why I'm here. If our cause interests you, we'd be thankful for your donation." She ends shyly, not daring to look at me right in the eyes. I can feel she's so stressed.

Am I dreaming or am I actually intimidating her ?

I let a chuckle escape my lips.

"So that's how a pretty girl like you spends her Christmas' Eve ? Knocking on some strangers's doors to raise funds for a charity ? Pretty generous." I say and lift an eyebrow.

She shrugs, still looking away.

"At least, I know people will open their door. And I don't celebrate Christmas anyway. I don't have any family or relatives to spend it with. M-My parents passed away when I was young. Oh fuck, I don't even know why I'm telling you that, you probably don't care and have other things to do." She confusely stutters.

I just chuckle again.

"Come in, I'm gonna give you some money for your organization." I say and point the inside of my apartment with my head.

She follows me inside, and we stop in the living room, the bottle of wine still on the table. As I was searching for my wallet in all my stuff, I hear her speaking again.

"Excuse me to ask you that but... aren't you celebrating Christmas like everybody else ?"

I lift my head to look at her. She's observing the room, noticing there's no Christmas decoration or anything else.

"No," I mumble, still looking for my wallet. "I'm alone."

"Oh." That's all she responds.

I finally find my wallet and take three 50 dollars bills from it and hand them to her.

"That's all I have in cash, I'm sorry."

"Wow, that's already more than the average. People usually don't really like to be bothered by some strangers on Christmas' Eve." She says, a bit shocked.

I shurg and wait for her to say something else.

"Hum... Can you just fill this paper in, please ? Not a big deal, just your name and surname, your adress and how much money you gave us. Plus your signature of course."

I do what she asks me and give it back two minutes later.

"Well, thank you..." She reads my name on the piece of paper. "Shawn."

I smile at her and notice how beautiful she really is, my name so beautiful coming from her mouth

"Have a good Christmas' Eve, and thank you again. I'm gonna go, I'm almost done." She smiles back at me and starts to walk to the door, me following her.

I hesitate a bit before grabbing her wrist, preventing her from walking out.

"Euh... Do you want to drink a glass of wine with me ? I mean... To celebrate Christmas since we're both alone."

She looks at me in shock.

"I-I don't know if it's a good idea. I still have a few houses to visit..." She looks at the ground and plays with her fingers.

"Please, just one. It would be my present." She blushes at my words and gives in after a few seconds.

"O-Ok, but just one."

We head back to the living room. I grab another glass for her and serve ourselves.

*

Hours later, she's still here, laughing at us because of our behaviours. I guess we're both a bit intoxicated.

"Shit, Shawn... What about the charity ? I totally forgot. I should go."

She searches for her purse, but I put my hand on hers, which makes her look at me.

"Stay with me, please. I will give you more money later if you feel guilty for those children, but please, stay."

She looks at me in the eyes, our faces so close. I lean in slowly, and seeing that she doesn't move back, I close the gap between our lips.

"Merry Christmas." I whisper as I pull away, glancing at the clock indicating it's now midnight.

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Hey guys ! Long time no see.

Merry Christmas to all of you ! ❤