Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
"What does it say?" my husband asked with his hands in front of his eyes. As he didn't get an answer right away he put his palms down and looked at me. I was wildly smiling with tears in my eyes ready to break out as I ran into his chest. Julian threw his hands around me and looked down.
"Is it positive?" he asked with a trembling voice, already knowing the answer, but he just needed a confirmation. I gave him the stick with the two lines than he looked deep into my eyes.
I could see the biggest happiness in his teary eyes as he spoke, "We are gonna be parents! Can you believe this liebe? This is just so great, I'm so happy it's finally happening! This was my biggest dream, to have a little you running around the house, with the same beautiful smile of yours." He said as I stroked his face with my fingers.
He took my hands into his and said, "I would be so much happier if we'd have a little you. My petite princesse. Or you know what would be absolutely awesome?" He questioned as we walked out of the bathroom.
I threw myself on our king sized bed and looked up at Julian as he continued "to have both" he said throwing his hands up to the air in a "celebration" style. I couldn't do anything else but laugh. Me with 2 kids? Two new-born babies at the same time? Before I met him I didn't even want to have kids, especially not twins, because I know how hard it would be. Yeah I am a twin. I have a twin brother David and if this wouldn't be enough for my poor mother we have another older brother Dominic. So when we were small kids I didn't know and to be honest I didn't even care how hard it was for mom. But as I got older I started to realize that to raise 3 kids at the same time is fucking hard and I always told myself that I don't want to bother myself with any kind of illness,homework and that broke hearts as well but in the moment I met Julian everything changed. The tone of his voice knocked me out of my thoughts.
He was still talking about the baby, all the things he wants to buy and do and honestly it just made me so happy. He was so excited like a kid on Christmas. "I should call mom and dad to tell them the great news."Julian said while taking his phone out of his pocket but as soon as he had it in his hands I took it.
"NO!" I said. He looked confused and tried to take the phone from me but I threw it on the other side of the bed.
"Why?" he asked now without the smile he wore for the past hour "Why wouldn't I? They have been waiting for this since the wedding; they have to know asap" he sighned, sat down on the side of the bed and lied down.
"I knooow, and it's not like I don't want to tell them but it's too soon I guess. This test" I said pointing to the way of the bathroom where the test was left back "maybe...it's not even..." I couldn't finish the sentence as he jumped up to his feet shouted "Don't you dare to say that" and stormed out of the room and few minutes later the house as I heard the front door bang.
-
The next morning I woke up with Julian's hands around me. I relieved that he came home after I get that text from Presnel that Jules was at his house telling him what happened and crying (!) from both happiness and sadness as he thought I didn't want the baby and that I didn't love him."What a fool" I thought while reading the lines of the message.
I slowly took his hands down from my warm body and my way to the bathroom to do my morning routine. As I was bending above the sink to wash my face my eyes found the pregnancy test. I lifted it up and just stared at it. Moments later Julian opened the door scaring the shit out of me. He came to me, grabbed my waist gave a kiss to my head, mumbled a quick "good morning" and quickly washed his face and teeth then took a full turn and walked out of the bathroom. It was the strangest thing he has ever done, because he usually gets over any type of disagreement we have, just like me, and usually the next morning everything is like a fairy tale again.
I put the test back to the place it was before, did my thing then went down to the kitchen. Jules was making breakfast. He glanced at me then put his focus back on the bacon he was cooking as I placed myself on the chair by the dinner table. I was hesitant to say anything, but then I realized I acted like I did something wrong, but Julian could understand my feelings too. He put the food in front of me; I looked into his eyes as he sat down too. It was so strange and awkward being in complete silence since we always had something to say, but at the same time I was scared to talk because I didn't know how he would react.
But if he gave me a kiss, made me breakfast and talked to me (let's say that) he can't be that mad at me, right? And I wanted to say something, I needed to say something to him but I don't know what.
Once he lifted his hands, swallowed the food he was eating, "Look...I don't care" he said and continued eating. I looked at him surprised. He never said this to me, not even when he really didn't care at all. He always listened to all the bullshit I was talking but now. He was so cold to me.
"Look I don't understand why you so mad without a reason," I spoke up literally throwing my fork to the plate."Excuse me, without a reason? You said that our child may not even be." he shouted at me.
"No I did not. You think that I said that but I didn't mean it like that, you know that these tests are not for 100 percent, they may be wrong." I said lowering my voice to the end of the sentence almost whispering. .
"Why are you saying this? Because you don't even want that baby! You never did!" he stood up with such a speed and force that even the chair fell.
"How can you say that; when you know that's my biggest dream since we've been together?" I screamed back to him with tears all over my face.
"But you want to know for sure? Fine, let's calm down and see a doctor. He will tell us what's going on once and for all!" I said, wiping the tears away from my face and walking back upstairs to our bedroom to call my doctor to set up an appointment as soon as possible.
