Strangely Comforting (boyxboy)

Chapter 19

And suddenly, everything made sense. Why Xander was so good with Lenny and seemed much more mature than the rest of the guys around our age. He'd been forced to grow up faster than any of us.

"She's the one who was sick," Xander explained. "Not my dad."

He walked over, cradling the young girl in his arms, and sat back down on his bed, looking down at his daughter who miraculously stopped crying. She snuggled up close to him and he continued to run his hand through her short, blonde hair. After a few moments, her eyes closed and she fell asleep.

"Vivi," he said softly. "She took her life shortly after Hadlee was born. So Hadlee doesn't remember her mother, and I've been taking care of her since then, with the help of my aunt who stays home with her during the day. I don't know where I'd be without my aunt, you know."

"Xander, I had no idea you were going through all of this," I said. "How did you keep it locked up for so long? I mean, you would've kept hiding it if I hadn't caught you."

He sighed and looked up at the ceiling. "Another reason why I stop myself short everytime is because I think back to my aunt who so willingly took us in and loved us in the place of our parents. And then there's Hadlee, my daughter. I'd hate to have her grow up without both of her parents as I did, but I also couldn't imagine being apart from her. I really need to be here for her, you know. She's the only piece of Vivi I have left."

"There you go," I said. "Those are your reasons to keep on living. Things are going to be hard in life, but you're stronger than that. You can get through anything."

Xander landed his eyes back on mine before he spoke again. "You're like a completely different person right now."

"What do you mean?" I asked.

"You've never said such kind things to me before," he said as a smile tugged at his lips. "What's going on?"

I looked down, removing my eyes from his. "Shut up. I always say kind things to everyone. But some people don't always see that side of me. Especially when they tend to piss me off."

"And, you're back to normal," he said, this time letting the smile take over. "But you're the only one who knows any of this. Nobody knows I have a daughter and of course, nobody knows that I've hurt myself."

"I won't tell anyone if that's what you're saying," I said. "I'm not that shallow."

"I know," he replied. "Thanks, Jasper."

Xander looked at me with such kind eyes and the warmest smile I had ever seen him give to anyone. It made my heart skip a beat as I looked at him sitting next to me, but automatically, I felt myself return the widest smile I had ever given to anyone.

"Jeez Jasper," he said, grinning. "You should smile more often."

"Huh?" I asked.

"You just looked-"

"Xander!" I heard someone yell, figuring it to be his aunt.

"Shit," he said and quickly glanced down at Hadlee and then at me. "I gotta help my aunt with dinner."

"Okay, then I guess I should leave," I said. "I'll call Hayden to pick me up."

"Don't," he said. "I'll bring you back after dinner."

I raised an eyebrow. "O-okay?"

"But, uh, would you mind," he started. "Would you mind holding her?"

My eyes widened at his request. I had never held a child before and he was asking me to hold his daughter. Surely, she'd just end up crying.

"She's going to cry if I hold her," I told him. "I've never held a child before."

"Well, here's your chance," he said and leaned over to me. He slowly placed Hadlee into my arms and I made sure to support her head as she stayed sound asleep.

"She didn't wake up," I whispered, shocked.

Xander looked down at his sleeping daughter and smiled. "She's a deep sleeper. But don't worry, I'll be back soon."

And with that, Xander silently left the room, leaving me alone with Hadlee. I peered down at her as she peacefully slept and she suddenly rolled over into my chest. I held her close to me and she gave me a feeling I had never felt before. Simply put, she was adorable. And holding her somehow gave me comfort.

I copied what Xander had been doing and ran my own fingers through Hadlee's hair as she slept. And then, she slowly opened her eyes as my heart stopped. She was going to wail once she found out I wasn't Xander.

Her small eyes opened, revealing a brilliant shade of green which matched her father's, and she looked up at me. Slow enough, the realization came to her that I wasn't indeed her father and tears started rolling down her cheeks.

"Nooo," I hissed. "Don't cry. Shh, daddy is coming back soon," I whispered, wiping her eyes. But this only made her start crying even louder, causing Xander to saunter in, knowing why his daughter started crying.

"It's not your fault," he said as he picked her up from my lap. "She cries when anyone new holds her."

He held her up to his chest and rubbed her back, telling her, "Daddy's back, Hadlee. Stop crying."

She sobbed into his neck and I sat still on Xander's bed not knowing what to do.

"She'll stop soon," he said, peering around Hadlee to look at me. "But dinner's almost ready so we can head into the kitchen."

And so, I followed Xander through his house as he carried Hadlee into the kitchen. His aunt was hovered over the stove, stirring a pot. She turned around as I walked in and offered a wide smile. I did the same, and introduced myself.

"Hi, I'm Jasper," I said. "Xander's classmate."

"I know," Xander's aunt said, smiling. "I was surprised when Xander said he brought someone over. It's the first time I've met one of his friends."

"Really?" I asked, raising an eyebrow at Xander.

"Shut up," he muttered. "I don't like having people over."

He set Hadlee down in her high chair at the table when she finished crying and I counted the plates that were set up.

There were five, including one for Hadlee even though there were only four of us.

Until I heard the front door open as someone walked in and headed straight for the kitchen.

"I'm home."

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