The Tall Tales of Daphne Monroe

Friday 13th March

10:00am

OK, this is becoming ridiculous. It's been a whole week since Prince Dreamboat spoke to Eddie and me. The cold shoulder is becoming Artic, it's unbearable.

The worst is the not knowing what we did.

I don't remember anything at the party that could have upset him that much. I mean, sure- Eddie threw up in the bushes but come on! It's not really a party until someone upchucks in the roses if you ask me. And besides, it's not like Théo's family can't afford a new bush, is it?

So, it must have been me? What did I do?

That bloody punch, I tell you. It was lethal. It's downright KILLED my chances of ever frenching with Prince Dreamboat, dammit.

I'm going to kill Jack for making it. Right after I kill him for being such a miserable bastard.

4:30pm

We're all gathered in Eddie's room to form a plan of attack. We have to get to the bottom of this mystery; poor Eddie is going even crazier than I am.

'What did I do? I mean, I'm his mate, come on! But it has to be me...'

'Why?' I ask, a little offended. I don't know why, I just am.

'Scooby, you can barely speak in front of the boy. All you do is giggle and punch him in the face.'

'Hey!' I say. Eddie stops pacing and looks at me expectantly.

'Well, it's true, isn't it?'

I sigh.

'Yeah.'

'It was Adeline.'

We all turn to the voice that just spoke up from the corner. The corner I was trying VERY hard not to notice because it contains someone I might just bash the head off if I look for too long.

Jack spins round in his chair and takes his headphones off, giving us all a tired expression. Or maybe that's just his face, I can't tell.

'You guys are wittering on so loud I can hear you through very heavy artillery.'

'What are you talking about, Poison Maker?' I ask sharply.

Jack gives me a pitiful look. 'You can do better than that, Monroe,' he says flatly.

'Speak fast or I'm going to twist your nipples so hard they fall off and I can use them as earplugs.'

'That's disgusting,' Jade says, but I ignore her.

'What was Adeline?' I ask.

'I'm only telling you this because I cannot stand any more of this whining you guys keep making, it's doing my nut in.'

'Talk.'

'I overheard her talking to your little crush next door at the party. She was carrying on in that annoying way of hers about how 'adorable' she thought you and Eddie were, and it was so great that you were in a relationship, blah...blah...blah...' Jack clearly gets bored of his own voice and trails off.

There is stunned silence as we process this new information.

'Wait, so that little Hell Queen told Théo we were in a relationship?'

Eddie and I share a mutual look of horror, whilst the girls around us just look bewildered.

'Hold up, what? Why would Adeline think that you two were dating?' Fee asks, sitting up on the bed.

'You explain it,' I say immediately, but Eddie shakes his head.

'You do it.'

'No-'

'-I'll spill about the whole year three assembly incident.'

'So basically Eddie told...'

6:00pm

'So, Eddie saved you from becoming the Hell Queen's latest meal by pretending you were together?' Alex summarizes a little while later.

I nod mutely. 'It was sort of a spur of the moment thing.'

'It's kind of genius. Gets you off her radar,' Jade says.

'Yeah, but I guess she just had to twist the knife in deeper and really make sure I was dead, at least as a possibility for Théo,' I say dejectedly. Eddie throws me a Jelly Bean in a supportive gesture. I eat it even though he got me into this whole mess in the first place.

'But you know what this means...right?' Fee says mysteriously.

I look blankly back at her. She tuts impatiently.

'Duh! Don't be so dense Daphne! A guy only gets this upset about a girl dating someone else for one reason...' she says, still sounding all cryptic-like.

I throw a pillow at her head to make her hurry up.

'Come on, it's obvious! Prince Dreamboat totally fancies you.'

I think my vision disappears for a spilt second, I'm so overcome. I had been so focused on the why Théo was mad at me, I hadn't thought about anything else. Was it true? Could Théo, the youngest son of the PRINCE OF MONACO, actually have a crush on the weirdo that is Daphne Monroe?

It's a slim chance, but I think odder things have happened. Unlikely, I know, but it's possible.

'You're insane, Fee. Besides, even if he did like me, he sure doesn't now that he thinks I'm dating Eddie.'

'Well, it's easy to fix! You just have to find Théo and tell him the truth,' Fiona says brightly.

'Small problem, he's ignoring me. I haven't seen him since the party, I think he's actually running in the other direction.'

'He can only avoid you for so long...'