The Tall Tales of Daphne Monroe

Monday 11th May

12:00pm

Well, the nervous sweats have really and truly started to kick in. I've been discreetly fanning my armpits all morning.

I'm such a catch, I know.

Tonight is officially the opening night of the play.

I have never been less ready for anything in all my life. I have this horrible foreboding feeling that it is all going to go terribly wrong and somehow it's all going to be my fault.

After all, it wouldn't be the first time. A few of the year sevens who are in the play have been actively avoiding me for weeks now.

When I asked Jade what was going on she just replied;

'Oh, they think you are a bad omen.'

'Why?'

'They heard what happened at Fiona's café a few months ago, and that you punched Théo, and that-'

'Yes, OK, Jade. I get the idea.'

'Well, you asked.'

So apparently, I've become the black cat, the number thirteen, or the upside-down horseshoe of this play. Even scrawny eleven-year olds are terrified of me. I might as well go the whole hog, open an umbrella indoors and scream 'Macbeth!' whilst on stage. It honestly can't get worse than it already is.

'Hey guys,' Théo joins us at our usual table for lunch. 'Everyone excited for tonight?'

There is a collective groan from the group.

'I'll take that as a no then,' Théo sits down next to me and slides over his chips for us to share.

I can feel everyone's eyes on me as I take one, and I'm suddenly struck at how couple-ly we seem. Eddie looks like the cat that got the cream and all the girls are trying to hide their smiles.

Oh, shut up, the lot of you.

3:00pm

We get let out of our last class early so we can head over to the auditorium for final dress rehearsal. We all have a similar defeated stance as we slump out of Spanish class- the only time in my whole life that I actually DON'T want to leave Spanish class- and walk across the school grounds.

I see Wilson standing outside the boys' dormitory, having a cigarette and watching us with beady eyes, daring us to do something bad.

I give him a cheerful wave just to anger him a little further and he just scowls some more. What a miserable old man. Does he have no joy in his life? Well, he works in a boarding school so probably not.

I can hear Fee next to me muttering her lines under her breath, sounding like a crazy lady. On my other side is Eddie, cracking his knuckles yet again.

I tell you, I CANNOT wait for this play to be OVER.

Actually, if just this night was over I would be happy. Dad, Granddad Tony and Billy are all coming to see it and knowing my luck they'll be right in the front row, Dad doing his best to distract me.

Still, if it all goes wrong I can just shoot myself with the potato gun and end it all.

It's that easy.

4:00pm

Amazingly rehearsals are not going as bad as I thought they would. We've only had one fluff up during the lines, most of the dance moves are down and the costumes actually look amazing.