A Little Bit Of Joy | ✔

Chapter Forty Six : The Boy, A Lover

I sat there on the couch, my fingers drumming the pillow and my feet tapping the floor repeatedly. Somehow, I didn't feel like I had control over my own body. I felt as if my conscious was drifting in and out of me- sometimes I would stop with my movements completely and other times the pace of my movements increased steadily.

I was going insane. Absolutely, terribly insane. And I was petrified. Absolutely, terribly petrified.

The living room was so silent that I could hear grandpa's old clock ticking. Loudly. It was so annoying. All this while I thought it was broken and maybe it was broken. Maybe I was imagining it ticking so I could blame something for my agitation. Maybe I had really lost my mind.

The argument with Logan was replaying in my mind like an old, broken wind up toy. I was trying to put all the pieces together as to what went wrong? Where did it go all wrong? Was it my fault that I spent unnecessary amount of time with him which made him think he was in love with me?

"Blondie, you okay girl?" I heard Jamal approaching me gingerly. "When I heard you both bickering while I was in the kitchen, I went out through the back door to pick up your sis from summer class. She's waiting outside."

"Tell her to come in then," I said in a faltering voice and Jamal quietly nodded.

"I thought you wanted to get yourself together before she saw you. I overheard some of your fight with lover boy before escaping."

"Thanks for the privacy and he's not my lover boy- far from it." I flashed Jamal a tight smile as he opened the front door.

As Gemma stepped in, he said, "Sorry for making you wait Gemmie baby."

"It's okay," she replied coyly and then looked towards me, her face lighting up. Instantly, my own heart felt lighter. "How was your day JJ?"

"Good," I lied. "How was your day Gem? Did the sir like your pot?"

I was referring to the crooked pot she had made for her art class. It wasn't the best, but it looked cute. Gemma had painted it a vibrant purple.

Her cheeks had a tinge of pink as she said blithely, "He really liked it, even my classmates liked it. They told me that."

"That's great!" I exclaimed, feigning enthusiasm. I was actually happy for her, but my own pain was eating me alive. The selfish part of me didn't want to see the beautiful smile on her face right now. It left me with an aching feeling that I couldn't share a smile with her.

"I'm proud of my genius babe," Jamal commented, pulling Gemma by her waist and pressing his lips to her forehead. Initially, Gemma cringed since she didn't like getting grabbed without warning. However, within seconds like an unfrozen ice cream, she melted in his arms. I noticed that Jamal's hold was gentle and loose in the beginning as if he gave her space to leave if she wanted to. Once she stopped cringing and stayed, his hold became firm. How did he know to hold her like that?

Gemma blushed deeply as her gaze remained fixed on the floor. She liked it too! But I didn't like Jamal being so close to my baby sister.

I simply stared at them and when Jamal didn't let go of her, I snapped, "Come on, that's enough."

"Chill out yo, just because yours didn't work out---"

"What the actual hell Jamie?" I interrupted harshly with my leftover energy. I was clutching the pillow tightly- nearly tearing it."Are you kidding me?"

"Nope Blondie, I ain't kidding," he fired back, releasing Gemma. Gemma appeared bewildered as she frowned at Jamal. She didn't like the tone he was using with me- her dear sister. At least she chose me over nonsensical Jamal. However, I didn't want her to know that she was the subject of the dispute.