surviving Z-land✔

27- cabin confusions#

Alive-sia
I was born in a thunder storm
I grew up over night
I played alone, I played on my own
I survived.
I wanted everything I never had
Like the love that comes with life
I wore envy and I hated that
But I survived

🔱

"Well... I think life's life and we need to live it. We need to wake up in the morning and fight for the life we have. That's all." Ryders answer is short and simple but tells me a lot. Like he won't give up on life easy.

"Okay. Si..." I think of a question.

"What happened to your family?" He amideatly stiffens up. "You don't have to answer-" He cuts me off, looking away he speaks

"It was a rainy night. The roads were dark and slippery. Rain pouring. You couldn't see a thing. The car was quit"

"I'm so sorry-" again he cuts me off

"My dad died of cancer before the outbreak. It was my mom, little brother and I left." He looks at me with a sad smile but also a glint in his eye.

"What happened to your mother and brother." The smile fades and he looks down when Ryder asks.

"I-i killed them" he whispers but we all hear. No one knows if he's serious or not and like he read minds, he carries on.

"Long story short. One morning I woke to my mom eating my little brother and I amideatly knew what was happening, after all, we did live with
E-Zombies for a while so I knew what was coming. I grabbed the emergency gun and shot my mother. Right in the forehead. I killed her. My brother rose shortly after with a missing stomach and once again, I didn't know what to do so I shot. Killing my little brother." He looks into the fire with no expression. He looks so sad, something I'm not used to seeing.

A tense silence settles over us.

"Any questions you guys have for me?" I ask hating the idea even though it was mine.

"Why do you like being called Pila?" Sophie's question.

"Okay, not bad. Well, Pila was a name I gave myself after the first wave. I don't like Roobie not because it's a bad name but because it reminds me of my old life. The life when things were simple and I was happy. Before shit hit the fan." I look around the room smiling.

"Anymore? Come on guys" I challenge.

"Would you date me" Si clears he's throat and glares daggers at Ryder. "Or him" he adds
I roll my eyes before answering.

"Under normal circumstances I would but right now...." I don't finish as look at them. They seem to be waiting for a reason so I huff and just get on with it. Looking out one of the high windows as I talk.

"Well, it's a zombie apocalypse. Nothing more to say really. Caring or even loving someone right now is not ideal. Hers a good example; Legend was a good puppy and I hadn't known him for long enough for his death to have a major affect on me. The more you care for someone, the harder it is when you lose them because in the world we live in now, you could die tomorrow and that's it." I look at the three sitting in front of me. Si's looking down at he's feet. Ryder looking into the fire and Sophie, with teary eyes, is looking at me. It's quit once more.

"No more questions? Okie dokie, we can move on-"

"I have a question" Nooooooo Si! You were sapposed to stay quit for a change. Damn!

"Go ahead" I indicate with a small smile but in my head I'm like 'shut the fuck up'

"I think I should come there" Si starts standing.

"No no. It's fine. Just ask the question. I'm trying to build trust here so we leave everything in the open, plus, how bad could it be?" I think all the really hard stuff is over.

"Remember that day in your bunker when we were sitting late and talking?" I furrow my brows till I remember and nod.

"Yah? I think so." I answer, not sure where this is going.

"You said sometimes you wonder then stopped and got all defensive. What were you going to say?"

Shit. That's pretty hard. I keep quit, gathering my thoughts.

Should I lie or just spill the beans? Do I have to even say anything? But I'm the one talking of build trust and now I can't share things with people I might spend the rest of my days with. Why is Si so smart and serious at the worst moments.

I finnaly gather as much courage as possible, huff the look into the fire. Thinking where I'll start my sap story.

"A few months after my mom died in a car crash-"

"Oh. I'm sorry. I didn't know. I wouldn't have said that earlier and made fun of-" I put up my hand silencing Si and giving him a reassuring smile saying 'don't worry about it'.

"A few moths after my mom died in a car crash ,during the first wave, I was alone. It was after you two had came." I look at Sophie and Ryder before continuing "I was alone and depressed. I was angry that all this happened to me and to my generation. Why didn't it happen after I die huh? Why now? Life was hard. I couldn't go around killing faces I used to know. I couldn't go around killing people that used to love, live, feel and think. I couldn't so I marched up to the tallest building, got on the roof and stood on the ledge. Looking down at the destruction below me I wondered. Why do I need to live now. I lived because I had people who loved me and I had dreams of an awsome future after school. I was 18. I thought my life was finally going to begin. Then It got snatched from me. Just like that." I click my fingers. "And as I looked down a thought hit me. Matter it was mine or someone watching over me from above? I don't know. But it hit me like a flood. I can't die now. I've lived for so long to only give up now because of a stupid zombie apocalypse. No. I'm not some twant who's going to willow in self pity. If I really wanted to die, I would have jumped already but I knew I didn't want to go. Not yet anyway and from that day on, I strive to be the best, to fight till my last breath and to live the life I deserve. I wondered what would have happened if I jumped and truth be told, I don't care because I'm a alive now." I finally end and look around the quit room. The crackling of the fire being the only sound. They all look at me, Sophie with glossy eyes,

"Cheer up guys. Now you all look depressed. I'm good now." I smile reassuringly. They ease up.

"I want to give you a hug but you look like the 'i don't hug' type of person."

"True" I smile at Sophie. Ryder suddenly stands across from me.

"I said I don't do hugs" I say to Ryder's aproching form. He kneels down in front of the couch, in front of me.

"What are you-" I get cut off by something I never expected.