The Uries (The Urie's Daughter Adopted By Brendon Urie) Book 2

Can You Feel My Heart?

Ryleigh
Brendon and Sarah were in the hall. I knew they would be back in a few minutes. Don't get me wrong, I love having them here but I hate how much I'm hurting them by not remembering anything. Why can't I remember? They tell me I'm a few weeks from my fourteenth birthday. I've been with them about a full year. They adopted me a few weeks before my thirteenth birthday.

They have all taken turns telling stories or explaining things we had done together. I felt bad but I couldn't remember. Doctor Annesley has told us that I should get my memories back eventually and to get back to a normal routine once I'm home and maybe it will trigger my memories. I have a very severe case of retro grade amnesia. Gerard and Mikey often apologized for Frank.

He hasn't been in to see me since the day I woke up when he went running out. After apologizing, I can tell it's a touchy topic since they barely talk about him. I felt really bad about the whole ordeal. I'm supposed to be released to go home today. I've been awake about a week. I need two weeks of physical therapy since my muscles had atrophied a little bit. They want me to ride around in a wheelchair until they get me walking again. My ribs have healed though.

Frank
I felt horrible. I went running from her room after the realization that she didn't really know us. Sure, she knew our names but she doesn't know us or remember anything she's done with us. It hurt really bad. Gerard caught up with me when I got outside. I was halfway down the sidewalk. There were a few yards between us.

"Frank, wait!"he yelled. I stopped and turned to face him. "Why? I'm responsible, she doesn't remember us. What's the point anymore?"I yelled back. "Because you're still family and we love you. You aren't responsible for this,"Gerard called.

I wanted to go up to him and hug him tight as I saw him start to cry again. I kept hurting the loved ones around me and I couldn't stop. I was a grenade waiting to blow up and obliterate everything and everyone around me. I didn't want to be but I was. I shook my head no and turned to keep walking. I pulled my hood up, put my sunglasses on, and walked with my head down. "Where are you going?"he yelled. I shrugged and kept walking.

I stopped by a store and bought a 24 pack of beer. Some forgetting ought to do me some good too. I flagged down a cab and went back to Gerard's. I felt bad and wanted to stay elsewhere but I had no where else to go. Lindsey was silent as she watched me climb the stairs. I went into the guest room I've been staying in and locked the door.

I sat in the dark on the bed and pulled out a beer. I cracked it open and started to drink into oblivion. I could think of nothing other than how this was all my fault. My fault she almost died and my fault she doesn't remember us the way she did or should.

Gerard has tried to come check on me. It's been two weeks. I've declined steadily into alcoholism. It's my relief and my escape. She's been awake two weeks now. I haven't been back to see her since. She's been home for a week. I've overheard them saying that they've had her walking some now. She progressed better at physical therapy than they expected. I keep the door locked and sneak out when I wake up from passing out to buy more beer then return to lock the door.

I have barely eaten. I've lost a good ten pounds. Gerard should be home soon. It's almost lunch time. I have the curtains drawn. I cry, drank, and pass out. It's a continuous cycle that I don't think I'll break free from. I've talked to Jamia and the kids a little. As far as they know, I'm fine and Ryleigh is okay but doesn't remember.

"Frank Anthony Thomas Iero, open this damn door now!"Ray yelled. This was also a cycle. Every few days one of the other guys has tried to get me to open up. I usually scream at them to go away. Lindsey takes Bandit out when this occurs because there's a lot of swearing on both ends. I feel bad about it but I just want to be alone. I need that and then no one else will get hurt.

"No! Go the fuck away! I need to be alone!"I yelled back hoarsely. "There's a difference between need and want. Open the door now or I'm calling Jamia,"he said. I felt something else then. A sharper pain at the mention of my wife. I missed her but I didn't want her or the kids to see me this way.

I had an internal battle for a moment and sighed. I shuffled over to the door and unlocked it then shuffled back to the bed and slumped down, defeated. Ray turned the knob and came in. He closed the door. "That was easier than I thought,"he whispered to himself. "What do you want?"I croaked. "To get your ass up and out,"Ray replied. "I'm not leaving. I don't know how you can stand to be near me,"I said.

"You are and for the record, we don't blame you. You blame you, we want to be near you. Ryleigh is so damn confused. Not just about her memories but also what she did to make you disappear. This isn't healthy, Frank,"he said. I felt the tears welling as I saw him take in the empty boxes and cans of beer. "Please tell me you didn't do all of this,"he said. I started to cry. He hugged me tight.

"I d---di---did,"I sobbed. He let me cry it out. "Geesus, Frank,"he said as he took in the mess. "I don't know what the hell is wrong with me,"I said. "Let's clean this mess up and then we're going out,"he said.

I was too tired to fight at this point. He stepped out to grab a trash bag. "Don't tell Gee, please,"I begged. He looked at me hard. "I won't but you have to eventually,"he said. I nodded. He sniffed. "I'll take care of this, when was the last time you showered?"he asked. I shrugged. "Go shower,"he said. "Where are we going?"I asked weakly. "It's a surprise, I'm not telling. You aren't gonna argue,"he said and started to clean up my mess as I grabbed some skinny black ripped jeans, a black t-shirt and some underwear.

I entered the adjoining bathroom and took the longest shower of my life. My hair had grown out and I haven't shaved. I felt sick as I looked at myself in the mirror. I finished up and found a razor. I took my time as I shaved off the two week old beard. I felt a bit better as I threw on a black hoodie and left the bathroom.