The Mistake That Broke Me

Chapter Seventeen: The Sound of Silence

Song: The Sound of Silence by Disturbed

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Silence is like delicate glass.

It is easily broken.

And I'm sitting here, silently suffering as my world shatters like silence.  Shatters like glass. Shatters like a heart that no longer can beat properly, simply because it has been fractured too many times.

So the shards of silence lies around me, cutting my feet and wounding my flesh. It covers the floor like the bitter snow.

Or like the shattered windshield of the burning vehicle.

I dance and twirl around the shards, trying to escape their sharp edges that keeps cutting me and wounding my heart and soul.

But the longer I dance, the more I suffer.

The longer I dance, the more I fight.

And the longer I fight, the slower I die.

I scream yet nobody hears. I plead but nobody listens. I cry yet nobody comforts me.

I fall and nobody catches me.

So I plummet.

Down.

Down.

Down.

I hit the bottom.

Rock bottom.

My lungs burst from impact and a painful shriek is torn from my dry throat that is raw from weeping. The darkness closes in on me now. It has me cornered and terrified like a child who's awoken from a nightmare.

Its velvety hands touches me in ways that scares me. It fingers dance across my skin and crawls up my legs, strangling me when it reaches my throat.

I fight and struggle, wanting to break free from the cold fingers of the Darkness. 

Darkness....

Darkness has a name. Many names, actually. But none of his powerful names won't ever leave my lips anytime soon.

I'm lost. I'm lost in my panic. My fear. My uncertainty. My questions.

I'm lost in my own mind.

This is the realm of my own mind in which I cannot escape. This is the reality of my own life in which I cannot escape. I get sucked down deeper, deeper, deeper.....

Until I break.

Until I shatter like glass. Like silence.

Because as they speak, their voices break down the walls I built in my head. They break down the mental walls that have kept the darkness out for so long. They break down the walls that lets the darkness leak in, the cold inky waters drowning me once more in an ocean of agony.

Because their voices disturbed the sound of silence. 

Their voices of silk flowed like drapes flapping in the breeze that caused pleasurable chills to dance along my skin. The words they spoke were sweet like honey yet as lethal as poison. Their words were as enticing as a beautiful flower yet as deadly as a viper.

They spoke in such a way that they somehow didn't make the situation sound so bad.

But it was bad. It was worse than I could ever imagine.

So, I tried not to listen to their instructions on how to pleasure a man and on all the different positions, and how to make the most money with each client.