The Mistake That Broke Me

Chapter Thirty Five: Setting Them Free

The Mask Slips Away by Red

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Colton started to panic again, and before either of us could speak, he left the storage closet quickly. I found him sitting on the couch in the living room, taking deep breaths.

I sit next to him, looking at my clasped hands.

He is the leader of some gang? Some dangerous street gang that commits all sorts of crimes? That means Colton is a criminal.

"Do you....do you want to leave the gang?" I ask him.

He shrugs. "They are my only family." He whispers.

His words hit me hard, he believes they are his family. While I'm not exactly sure what goes on in gangs, I know some of it. The little I do know is enough to know that family doesn't treat each other like the way gang members do.

"I asked if you wanted to leave the gang."

He sighs, running his hands through his hair, seemingly hesitant. "Yes I do. I-I want to change. I see lots of deaths on the streets and I'm afraid it will be me who is next if I....if I don't get out of this some how." He explains.

He wants to change. He wants help.

And he's reaching out to me. He's actually speaking to me instead of being standoffish, cold, and cussing me out.

And he seems desperate.

"But you don't understand. I'm the leader of the gang, and you can't just leave freely. It would also be like betraying the only ones I have known as family, and I know how betrayal feels since my own family sold me into the trafficking business as a child and-"

He stops himself right there, a flash of horror showing across his face at what he had just said. He looks at me, then the ground.

And then he gets up from the bed and runs to the door.

"Colton, no, wait!" I call after him.

"I-I'm sorry. I can't. I have to go." He says, looking back at me. His eyes flicker to mine briefly before flashing to the ground. He seems ashamed.

"I'm not thinking anything different about you because of what's happened-"

"No. Just stop. Stop. I can't do this." He whispers. He seems hesitant to leave at first, as if he was debating with himself.

But then he closes the door and leaves me alone to wander in my own thoughts.

Pieces are coming together now, and I'm slowly beginning to understand why Colton is the way he is. 

His family sold sold him as a child into human trafficking? Oh god, that's one of the most vile things you can do! I don't even know half of what he has been though.

No wonder why he struggles to trust others. Because one's trust is severely damaged when their own family turns on them. Surely, if you can't trust your family, the people who you are supposed to trust turns on you, then how can you trust anyone else?

No wonder why he has panic attacks. Who knows what else he goes through behind closed doors, and it's horrible he goes through it alone.

I go through something similar, and I don't like being alone. It makes me feel helpless and scared. Sometimes it's hard to tell what is real and what is not. Everything blends together and it feels like I'm back at the pimp house again.

I didn't know what to do. Should I just sit here and think about this more? Or should I go after him and try to help him? Perhaps I should give him some space.