The Mistake That Broke Me

Chapter Twenty Five: Time to Shine

Song: Unbreakable feat. Mike Mains

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I'm always on the run. The feeling of fear is like an itch that cannot be satisfied. No matter how far I run, there's always this nagging feeling that the distance isn't good enough. That the distance isn't far enough.  I always feel as if my traffickers are right behind me, reaching out to snag me off of the streets and throw me back into their clutches once more.

It's a fall afternoon - approximately five months after I had escaped from the traffickers and five months I had last seen that man.

Colton.

The mysterious man with frigid eyes and a stone cold personality. He was quite frightening, and I would be lying if I said I was intimidated by his personality and just his......his overall appearance.

But he freed me.

Why?

That's a question I don't quite know the answer to, I'm just grateful for his act of kindness towards me.

But now I'm stuck on the streets with nowhere to go. Thinking back, long ago when I was rich, I remember seeing the homeless on the streets as I drove by in my expensive car. I remember seeing them, crammed on the streets and holding signs asking for money.

And when they weren't begging, they were seen sleeping in makeshift tents on the roadsides, in bushes or under bridges.

I remember very clearly of my thoughts of judgement that I passed amongst them. I remember them loud and clear, and I wince thinking about them.

Now I'm in their place. Now I beg for money and sleep in makeshift tents and find my home under bridges and in alleys. I would have laughed in your face if you would've told me that I myself, a rich, pristine and perfect girl would eventually find herself homeless.

I guess you really don't know what you've got until it's gone, and I've found out that reality in one of the hardest ways possible.

Funny thing, how life can take you through the deepest, darkest, most depressing of times in order for you to learn some kind of a lesson. Sometimes it takes a slap of reality and your own world to crumble beneath your feet in order to bring you to your knees and humble yourself.

I definitely was humbled by this painful journey life has brought me so far.

I went from rich and perfect. To potential and a bright future. I was at the top of the pecking order, if you will. And then I lost it all, and by losing it all, only then did I realize just how much I took for granted.

But it's too late.

Because how things were, is no more.

And now I'm left wishing I could have done things differently.

I pad down the streets that bathe in the evening sun. My appearance isn't of the prettiest as of now, because I look dirty and scarred. The only clothes I own sits on my back and I've long since ditched the fish net stockings and high heels.

I'm clothed in a a ripped, brown hoodie and old, loose jeans. And to top my outfit off, green crocs clothe my feet that I had found at a homeless shelter.

I look like the definition of embarrassment, as well as the definition of homeless. I am both those things, so, I guess it makes sense.

If I know one thing for sure, though, is that I must always keep as much of my skin covered as possible. Scars of all kinds adorn my body, and I am ashamed to look at them because they bring up painful memories of my past.