The Mistake That Broke Me

Chapter Twenty Seven: Perfection is an Illusion

Song: I Hate Everything About You by Three Days Grace

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I fell asleep shivering that night and with the feeling of the cold, hard bench pressed against my side. I curled myself into a tight fetal position in an attempt to preserve as much body heat as possible.

My thoughts roamed wild from the day's previous events. First my performance, then my guitar, and finally, Colton. Something about that man draws me in, but I'm afraid.

He has a dangerous aura around him. And not only that, but I know he's locked away the majority of his emotions. He almost shows nothing, and when he does, it's gone faster than I can blink.

Is that even normal?

I remember when I spent some time in the mental asylum, many of the patients were emotionless, and it was scary. The doctors attempted to make them normal again. They tried all this medicine and counselling.

But the look that he wears....I've seen it before. The girls back at the pimp house wore the same look. I imagine I did, too, and hell, maybe I even still do.

It's the look of brokenness. Hopelessness. Surrender. Like they had completely given up on life getting better and are completely broken from the inside out.

And he is no different.

Why are you so concerned? Let it go. You shouldn't be getting involved with a possible dangerous history. He was going to steal from you if he hadn't known you, after all. I tell myself. I try so hard to convince myself, but it's not working very well.

The autumn sun didn't do much to warm my chilled skin. Its rays danced along my sealed eyelids and seemed to awake me from within. I groaned, and with a yawn, I rolled over.

And fell right off of the side of the bench with a painful thud.

My eyes shoot open and I growl in irritation. Sitting up, I stretch my sore and stiff muscles while I look at the creation in front of me. The park's green grass rolls on for hundreds of feet and it sparkles with dew. Paths wind themselves throughout the park and maple trees of oranges, reds, and yellows line the pathways.

Their shed, dead leaves blanket the dewy grass that surrounds them and the sky is alive with dark blues that fade into a lighter color as the sun rises. Wispy clouds float by leisurely without a care in the world, taunting me of that fact.

Robins and various other birds bounce around on the ground in search of worms and insects. They pluck their meals from the ground before perching themselves on nearby tree branches.

I yawn loudly and viciously rub my eyes before collapsing onto my back on the ground again. My eyes find themselves lost in the sea of leaves that hang on the branches and I sigh. Another day has come.

I know exactly how I'm going to spend this day, too.

I kick pebbles as I walk with my hands shoved into my pockets. Few people walk around with a mug of steaming coffee in their hands on their way to work. Some teenagers clamber along the sidewalks with their backpacks clinging to their backs, no doubt on their way to school.

Some of the people actually offer me smiles, and I smile back. This town is so much more....friendly than the last city I stayed in. People here seem a little more welcoming and not as judgmental as the last city I was in.

It's quite refreshing.

I make my way to the little club I work at. The building is made of old, red brick but it is otherwise in good shape and decorated nicely. It feels....homely and I enjoy the atmosphere and the feeling the place gives me.