The Best of Me (Camren)

chapter fifteen

Lauren's POV

I felt like a dick. Because I was a dick. I regretted what I said to Camila last night about how she didn't know what she was talking about when it came to Bella. She was trying and I guess that counted for something. 

The next morning after the party, I called my ex and apologized for my behavior. She forgave me and told me she wished for our new relationship to not be a repeat of the past and I couldn't have agreed more. I did act pretty immature like how I used to back in the day. Communication was obviously our biggest issue. 

"Camila made you feel better last night, huh?" I asked my little girl during breakfast. And after we talked about her problem with being bullied. It tore my heart to hear that. I wanted to talk to her teacher and principal about it but she kept begging me not to. 

"Yeah, a lot better. She's a good listener," she smiled. "I trust her a lot too."

"Well... that's good," I muttered a bit glumly while packing lunch. Already had Camila been such an influence in her life. A good one at that. 

"Can you keep a secret? Just between us?" 

"Yeah, what is it?" I looked up.

"Don't get me wrong.... I love Lilly but... nowadays, I see Camila more like a mother to me. Oh. My God. My throat closed up and heart pounded. Like I went pale in the face. I wasn't hearing things, right?

"...What?"

"Camila's so nice and always there for me. Not saying Lilly isn't but Camila goes out of her way a lot more. I just feel so comfortable around her. It's like a natural bond," she explained further. Shit. 

I couldn't take what I was hearing anymore as I excused myself to the downstairs bathroom. I wasn't sure if I wanted to cry or throw up. Kinda both. It just made me sad and sick at the same time. Bella and Camila were getting so close. They were having those mother and daughter moments that I never thought they'd have. Was I happy? Not sure. Was I upset? Mostly. Because it felt fast. It felt too good to be true. Here Camila comes back into her life and they're the best of friends who tell each other everything. Bella opened her door to Camila long before she opened for me. And it was only because Camila told Bella to talk to me about her issues. 

Well, that just made me mad all over again.

What if they get so close that Bella won't like me anymore? And then she'll get up and leave me to go be with that traitor? It was totally unfair. But maybe it was my fault for letting Camila get so close to her so soon. Perhaps I should rethink everything and cut my ex off for good. But wasn't that what ruined everything in the first place? She needed to be with her daughter and Bella needed to be with her mother. But what about me? Was I not needed anymore? I don't know. This whole thing scared me and I wasn't sure how to handle it.

***

Things have been better than ever since baby Bella was born. We moved into an even bigger apartment and lived happily ever after. She was already learning how to sit up and roll over like a little puppy but it was going to be another while before she crawled. I was okay with that though. I didn't want her growing up too fast. 

I finally got a job as a technical writer for an insurance company. Not exactly my dream job but it was something right after graduation. Good thing I was still boxing too which made ends meet. Camila was also working part-time at a hospital but of course was taking time off for the baby. She was already an amazing mother, also still working toward her degree. 

"Hey, honey, what is this?" I frowned at a pamphlet from Stanford Medical School that was left on our counter.

"What is what?" she looked up from her textbook.