(REWRITING) The Skylar Experiment : Coveting

Chapter Thirty-Three - PMSing

RILEY

THE SLEEP WAS AWFUL. Impossible. I was still lost in the ceiling when weak rays of light brushed my swollen eyelids. As the night and the nerves wore off its summit, all I wanted was to become a murky forgotten puddle in the middle of nowhere. I didn't want to move, not even to keep my breath. 

The house was inactive. My chest felt like an ash tray.

What was I supposed to do now? 

How can I explain to myself and everyone else that aggressiveness? I didn't believe a single word I'd yelled last night, but I flung them nonetheless. Not a single person yesterday whose feelings I didn't pummel. The horrible, horrible things I said when Luc was just trying to cover up what I'd done... And Dad... 

Tears trailed down my temples. Rolling over, I caught the blinking phone light and—in a shot of hope—unlocked the screen to see if there was any response from Luc... something to let me know maybe he was fine. 

It was a missed call from Adam. 

Texted that we needed to talk, that he should apologize. I thought of his face and a stone settled in my stomach, ready to be regurgitated. I couldn't deal with this. What I did to Colt's house in response to fear, it could have easily gone worse.

Maybe... maybe I did use our relationship to hide from reality. 

It pained me to think I had to cut ties with everybody—with Sam and Jen. My days would be much darker without their unceasing antics at school. I didn't want to let that go, but it wouldn't help anyone in the end.

I was still pissed at Luc for throwing me under the bus and being so harsh, but in hindsight it didn't excuse what I told him. I'd stooped low and scraped the bottom of the barrel, been the absolute worst out of the two. 

A knock on my window jarred me. I rose from the bed and inched toward the glass apprehensively, reluctant to face him and sort it out, though there'd soon be no other alternative.

I slid it open and leaned down to see none other than Ben standing under my window, hands in the pockets of his jean. His face was solemn in the early morning, devoid of his usual quirkiness. 

"Hey, Minnie." He smiled. "Mind if we talk a little?"

Perplexed, I let him jump in and he sat on my ledge, instantly shrinking the room.

"Nice decoration."

I bounced back on the mattress. "Let me guess, he sent you to make sure I wasn't exposing myself again?"

"No. He just told me about yesterday and I figured I'd come see how you were holding up."

"What did he tell you?" 

Ben's features scrunched. "You got caught at a party and it got nasty, to say the least. You almost exposed yourself."

So, he hadn't told Ben about Adam. Relief eased the pressure in my chest. I wouldn't be getting another speech about all that I was doing wrong. Sure, I'd come to terms with it like two seconds ago, but I was sick of hearing that.

"Yeah. Real nasty," I choked. "I, uh, I've been really mean to Luc. Is he...?"

"A little crankier than usual, but nothing we hadn't handled in the past." He laughed bitterly. "You should have seen the nightmare he became after Lauren was gone. No one was safe."