Not over you-Pt 1

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Your POV 

I glanced up the path. For some unknown reason I had decided to dress up and go to one of my exes infamous parties. Why you may ask? 

I was still asking myself that exact question as I straightened my dress slightly and made my way into the front door. The smell of alcohol and weed smacked me in the face as I made my way through the crowded room and towards where the drinks were. I knew exactly where they would be, he never changed the set up for his parties. I automatically grabbed one of the many bottles of vodka and poured some into the bottom of a plastic cup. I grabbed the coke and filled my cup the rest of the way. I needed this to stay sane at this point. Since Jesse and I broke up just a month ago I had fell apart. I was unable to function on the daily without some form of alcohol or drug.

I downed the cup in a matter of seconds and made myself another. One after another I downed several of these drinks. I would say that I have to drink a lot of alcohol to get drunk. That was probably due to the amount of times me and Jesse would get drunk together. I filled up my next cup and wandered into the centre of the party. 

After a few moments the alcohol kicked in and I turned into a drunk mess, grinding on any man in sight. Someone passed me a joint and it took no persuading for me to grab it from the stranger's hands. Just as I raised the joint to my mouth, ready to take a drag, someone snatched it from my hands.
"Heyyyyy!" I groaned, attempting to grab the joint back.
"No Y/N I think you are fucked up enough you don't need weed too!" An all too familiar voice replied, passing the joint to some random guy behind him and grabbing my hand.
"No Jesseeeee!" I tried to pull away from his grasp, "Get off of me I wanna partyyyy."
"Yo you need sleep, not more alcohol." Jesse laughed lightly, pulling me up the stairs and towards his room.
"No bab...I mean Jesse." I corrected myself and giggled slightly.
"Look come on let's get you changed." Jesse rolled his eyes slightly and rummaged through his clothes.

"Here look I'll help." He laughed lightly as I attempted to pull off my dress, "You can wear this."
"You can't see me naked." I giggled.
"Yo I've seen it all before doll." He chuckled, "Just come on."
He helped me pull off my dress and he put one of his t-shirts on me.

"Ok now you stay here and go to sleep ok." He covered me with the blanket.
"Waitttt," I whined, "Jesse I miss you."
"And I miss you too Y/N but why don't we speak about this tomorrow when you are actually sober!"
"No look! I may be s-slightly drunk but listennn." I slurred.
"Ok I'm listening." Jesse gave in and sat on the end of the bed.
"I miss you ok! I miss you so fucking much! I miss w-waking up next to you, I miss your kisses and good morning texts. I miss our 2 am chats and our dates. I miss us...I miss you! I'm a mess without you. I-I'm either drunk or high...or both every day. I-I can't function. I fucking hate that I feel like this. I FUCKING HATE YOU! I HATE THAT YOU WERE ABLE TO MAKE ME FEEL LIKE THIS!" I cried, "I'm not over you...and I don't think I'll ever be over you."
"Look yo you ain't the only one that feels that way. I ain't over you either..." Jesse sighed, "But we can talk about all of this tomorrow Y/N, goodnight."

Jesse stood up and walked out of the room without saying another word.

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