Jesse Pinkman Imagines

Unkiss me

A/N
I took this idea from my Shawn Mendes imagines book and the song unkiss me by Maroon 5. I also didn't check this imagine before posting so sorry for any mistakes. 

Your POV

I sat, thoughts circling around my mind, next to my boyfriend Jesse in my apartment.
"What wrong with me Jesse?" I blurted out, mentally facepalming at the way I decided to bring up the topic.
"What do you mean?" Jesse said bluntly, not taking his eyes off of the TV.
"I mean..." I paused and took a deep breath, "What did I do for you to stop loving me? What did I do wrong?"
"W-What? Where did this all come from?" Jesse raised his brow.
"I can just feel it Jesse, I'm not stupid." I rubbed my eyes, emotionally exhausted, "I can clearly feel that you are over me, over us."
"That's stupid Y/N, I l-love you still." His face crinkled up slightly as he said those words that I hadn't heard for months.
"You do know you don't have to love me, don't try to protect me from the bitter truth when it's staring me right in the face. I'm not going to blame you for falling out of love with me. Just tell me." I pulled my exhausted body up from the sofa and made my way out onto my balcony.

Staring out into the almost empty streets, I finally let a tear roll down my cheek. I quickly wiped it away. Rain collided with every surface outside, the sound soothed me slightly.
"If you respect me Jesse,  don't protect me from this." I began to speak as I could feel his presence behind me, "This shit is hurting so much more than it would if you were just honest."
"I know...it's just I..." I cut him off.
"Stop pretending everything is okay. Everything between us is far from okay and you and I both know it! We both know where this is leading ." I paused and breathed in deeply, "We are going down..."
"I don't know how to explain it." Jesse shrugged his shoulders.
"For god sake, this is just never-ending, isn't it? I want you to be honest for once and just say exactly how feel okay. Tell me you don't love me anymore. We can both feel that this relationship has grown to feel wrong. We can't do this. I will always have a special place in my heart for you but this is just going to become toxic. I feel terrible every day and I hate feeling this way." I let out all of my emotions at once, "Jesse I'm begging you please. You loved me once now do the right thing. Unkiss me Jesse...Untouch me...Unlove me."
Jesse looked at me in shock and we both stood in silence on the balcony for what painfully seemed like forever.

"How long?" I frowned.
"I don't really know, maybe a couple of months." Those words hit me like a thousand daggers all at once.

The wind whistled and the rain began to pick up speed, violently hammering on the balcony floor beneath us. I felt so embarrassed! The past couple of months I held on, I pushed all of the negative thoughts and feelings to the back of my mind, thinking that I was just overreacting like usual. I looked up at the gloomy, dark grey clouds and allowed the rain to mix with my salty tears, now flowing freely down my cheeks. I felt so stupid! I was so stupid! Why did I still feel something? I knew this was going to happen, I was prepared for this...But still my heart had been shattered into thousands of tiny fragments by him.

I heard Jesse cough, "Are you ok Y/N?"
"Yep I'm fine." I wiped my tear-stained cheeks.
"No your not, talk to me." He sighed, attempting to place his hand on my shoulder but I flinched away.
"Okay honestly, it's so fucking disrespectful how you have handled all of this. I lied to my heart for months because I thought I was being stupid. You kept me holding on. I could feel that you were over us months ago but I wanted to hear you say it, so I waited...And waited...And waited! But you didn't care about how this all made me feel, did you? You just found it easy being with me. It is the norm and you didn't want to have to change that. I bet you didn't even think about how much I was hurting, did you? You didn't have to love me, no one was forcing you." I sobbed, "Did you ever love me? I-If I hadn't have bought this all up tonight...Would you have even said anything?"
I knew his answer already but the deafening silence told me more than any of the stupid words that would've came out of his mouth ever could. As I stood, in the pouring rain, my heart broke into even tinier fragments. I never knew someone that I loved so much could hurt me like that...

"I really am truly sorry Y/N." Jesse leant against the balcony doors.
"It's fine...You can't light a fire if the candle's melted." I shrugged, attempting to cover up my true hurt.

"Look I'll go..." Jesse made his way back into my apartment, "Also yes I did love you before all of this. I can't help how I feel, I really wish I could."
I turned as Jesse made his way towards my front door, grabbing his jacket and pulling it on. I made my way into the living room, watching his every move. Jesse grabbed his pair of keys for my place and put his hand out, directing me to grab them. I inched closer to him, grabbing the keys and stepping back.

Without a single word escaping either of our mouths, Jesse unlocked my door and walked out without even turning around to take one last glance at me. The door clicked shut behind him.

The moment that dreaded click filled my ears my legs gave way and I dropped to the ground in a pile of tears. Nothing could've prepared me for the feeling and emotions that flooded over me the moment I was alone. I knew it was best for both of us that he left but it didn't feel like it was. I had to let go.