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samaracavelli Baby K can definitely tell daddy isn't around and let's just say she's not very happy about that. 4 more weeks until you're here an
shawnmendes Call me right now, I wanna talk to her):
mendeslife I'm gonna CRY
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// s o n g o f t h e c h a p t e r //
//// l o v e m e o r l e a v e m e // l i t t l e m i x ////
I was one month in without Shawn, one month living in Toronto. My parents were flying in to celebrate Thanksgiving with Immy and I since I put myself on a travel ban. I was excited to see them. It was definitely weird to not wake up and see them everyday. I did miss that.
Immy and I saw each other everyday which was great because I was almost convinced I'd rarely see her after she married Casey and moved up her. But by the most unforeseen circumstances in the world, I was now living in Toronto that wasn't a problem anymore. I just missed my parents all the time.
It was pretty hard on them when I decided to move to Toronto with Shawn. They questioned why he couldn't just move to Miami, but they didn't understand. It was hard for them when I planned on moving out of their house, yet staying in Miami. Here I was, in an entirely different conversation.
I just wanted to make it easy for Shawn. He insisted I move in so he could see Kora whenever he's home and that was honestly the least I could do. I couldn't imagine if my parents split up and lived in two different countries. It'd be so hard for me to see them and I didn't want Kora to go through that.
Of course Shawn and I weren't together, but I just wanted Kora to grow up seeing her parents together. I wanted her to look at Shawn and I and want to be in love the way we were... the way we are. That's something she deserves.
I definitely don't want her to sleep with some random guy in a bar and end up pregnant with his kid. I just want her to see the love we share for each other and set that expectation for herself.
I wanted to be with Shawn, duh. I really just don't think the time is right for us. I love him with my entire soul, with literally everything I am, but with his career and Kora, there was just no time for a relationship. Or that I could see. He's wanted to be together from the start, but my life was way too hectic to even think about a relationship.
Almost anytime I had a second to stop and think, it was about what would have happened if I never left Shawn.All the time. I was so dumb.
I feel like, I would have woken up, made breakfast, we would have gone around Toronto, and maybe we would've started dating eventually. I believe in the universe finding balance for its ways. I screwed that balance when I left him that morning. So, the universe found balance by my pregnancy and then throwing me back into his life.
