escapril

anxiety: becoming the pit

on the good days
i'm peeling off pieces of my lips
and leaving them sprinkled across the carpet
on the bad
i'm creeping the length of my bedroom
and rolling around in the filth of my sheets
growing jungles in my coffee cups
and leaving them for the ghosts to drink
this is the polar complexity
heaving
screaming
gasp. breathe. sniffle.
two opposites burrowing inside of me
until my body is a chamber
furnished with its own pendulum

swoosh. swoosh.
cut. cut.
swoosh. swoosh.
cut.

i keep the door closed so
they don't have to see this
and watch the rats scurry around