escapril

bearing fruit: summers are heavy

sure it will hurt
when they excavate my seeds
from my belly
and place them in a little bag
to trade for goods and life insurance
and scatter them like dandelions across america
but i never had a garden worth tending
my thumb is more gray than green
and i chew on it constantly
who knows
i could gobble myself up and then where would we be?
eating our own children

i smell flowers at the grocery store
there is a song playing that sounds like summer and peach
and something rings in my cavernous belly
do i know what i want or am i
just so lonely that i hallucinate to pass the time
picking dirty grapes and making wine
i come close to drinking but none of it tastes right
it tastes like private property
none if it tastes like mine

i wouldn't want a child like me
i couldn't stand the sight
how to hold her
how to suck out the same rot that lives in her mother and mother's mother and mother's mother's mother
roots festering with bugs
so i'll be fine after all
tending to this sloppy overgrowth