The Man I Left at the Altar (English)

Chapter 24: Workshop

CHAPTER 24

I couldn't sleep that night. The ring on Dark's drawers was bothering me. I shouldn't probably drop into conclusions but who was I kidding? He wanted to get married and start a family. He'd been dropping hints to me for the past year. And I was such a sucker for delaying the inevitable.

I knew the best thing to do was to be honest about it. But fear was stopping me. I knew how much he wants a family. He craves for it.

I shouldn't be scared of marriage. If I was going to get married, I knew Dark would love and take care of me. But isn't that what newly married and engaged couples thought of the first time? But time passes by and you see a lot of marriages ending. It's even worst if there are children involved.

I had my fair share of the same experience. When I think of marriage, I can remember the tears of my mother, Lyana's blank eyes as she watched everything crumble and my father's drunk voice.

I remember cleaning up the mess of bottles and cigarettes on the floor when I wake up in the morning. I remember the screams and arguing as I cook breakfast and fake a smile, so my sister wouldn't deal with the burn of our family's reality.

I can still remember my mother's wails and her sobs as she left for the States, leaving her daughters behind to piece the broken pieces of our family. I hated her back then. I hated her for putting us through hell.

I hated them both as they leaned on me for support, for coming up with the ideas and excuses to our neighbors and family, for being a mediator between them, and for serving as their emotional baggage despite me being wounded as well.

My parent's marriage left a wound in my heart that I tried to cover with a cool and smiling façade. I became my family's captain, wielding the ship to help stay to its course despite the turbulent waves. I learned to deal with my pain on my own.

I learned to become selfless, perfect and strong. Pleasing them became my priority that I took a course I didn't like, so I can stop from arguing with them. I gave everything they needed in the hopes for our family to heal. And I believe we did, overtime. But I was left behind to mend my own wounds.

Until Dark came. He showed me unconditional love. He saved me from my self-destruction. He loved me with all his hurt that it pains me to hurt him by saying no to marriage.

I mentioned to him before that I wasn't sure of marriage. But he had hoped for me to change my views. I tried. I tried so hard to look at marriage in a different perspective.

But there are moments when the memory of our family flashes through my mind that it would send me into a crippling mess.

Sighing, I sat up on our bed and thought of calling him. I should talk to him. I need to ask him if it was true and tell him of my side. Relationships are build on trust and communication right? Maybe he'll understand me. Maybe we can continue in our relationship despite not being married.

There are tons of couples who chose not to get married. It was our relationship, so it should be our choice.

I hovered over his number, debating on calling him or not. He might be in a meeting at this hour. Instead, I swiped my phone close. I'll talk to him when he gets home. It was better to talk about these stuffs together and not on the phone.

Removing the covers over my body, I was about to head to the showers when my phone vibrated. It was my college orgmate Venus.

From: Veni

Hi Laurene! We'll be having a workshop today at Ortigas. Would you like to come? I reserved you a seat since I knew you wanted to pursue your dream of becoming a published author.