PetrA

Chapter fifty-six: Gemma

"What I know about depression?" Ellie echoed hollowly. Her sudden change of tone shocked the rest. Joachim glared at Ellie as though she had never known a thing about the pain. "I'll tell you." She snarled the tears falling down her cheeks leaving wet and glistering trails. "My mother left my brother and me when I was a baby, a baby! She came back when I was almost four. She overlooked me and only focused on my brother. She almost didn't care about me, she treated my brothers better than she treated me. It was almost as I didn't even exist. She used me as a doll she can just pull out whenever she wants to and say "Look at my beautiful daughter!" and then not even talk to me for almost a year! I spent seven years bullied and alone at school. Seven years, my best friend started it. I stood at the end of a long rumour mill that never took an end, they wrote things about me on the school walls, they whispered things about me behind my back. Called me things you cannot dream off, told me that the world was better off without me, told me that I should just kill myself, no one cared about me anyway." Ellie was trembling her voice shaking. "I moved to a private school where things became better, I was one of the class, I had friends, people accepted me, they didn't care what I wore, they didn't care about what my teeth looked like! Then a month into the school year my dad lost his job and my mum had now been ill for a while, with migraines, and pain pulsing through her body, she could barely work. My mother almost died after an operation in her back, and then six months later my dad got a new job. Not where I had grown up, but here. In another country, we had to uproot ourselves move thousands of kilometres away from our family, our home and everything I knew and loved. I gave up everything because; I loved my dad and mum and I would never go to live with my mother. I started over again, frozen out by my classmates, because I was the silent girl who sat with her nose in a book most of the time, who was too shy to talk. I spent my time writing, painting, drawing and reading. I almost started to self-harm because of everything. I couldn't do my sport because there wasn't anywhere I could swim, unless I wanted to freeze to death in the river. I moved to your town alone because of my sport, but the swimming team there, they froze me out just like everybody else, they ignored me, and treated me like dirt. My only friend on the team was never there because of her music. I quit because I couldn't deal with it, I was stressed out with school and competitive swimming, and then there was you."

Joachim stared at her shell shocked, "I did not have a problem with you originally. Then you decide it would be fun to mess with me. Send me messages where you tell me that he liked me, and then make me look like a fool. You started to make comments about me whenever I was close you made fun of me because of a stupid crush. I heard you make fun of my presentation about what I love and what I'm good at. Did you really think I was blind? Did you believe I didn't hear about it? Did you ever stop just to consider that maybe I was putting up a façade? Hiding it all from view, do you know how many times I've cried myself to sleep? Did you ever think I might not have been as happy as I let on? No you didn't, you thought it was all fun and games. You thought it was fun to mess with me because I liked Kim. You thought it was fun to make comments about me. You never stopped to even think remotely about what was hiding behind the I don't give a fuck, happy go lucky girl attitude." Ellie turned around and dove out of sight.

Joachim looked like Ellie had just speared him with a knife, Henrik was staring shocked and surprised after her, and Stella, Anthony and Lewis looked highly uncomfortable and surprised. Gemma wiped away the tears that was falling down her cheeks. Kim stood frozen staring at Joachim, after a long and stained silence Kim said. "Why would you do that?" a sudden rage taking over. He looked like he wanted to murder Joachim, "You should never make fun of anyone. You should know that." He turned around and followed Ellie. Henrik looked at Joachim, "Why?" He asked. Joachim didn't know what he was supposed to say, Ellie had exploded in his face like a ticking bomb. Gemma glared at him, "You're so stupid!" she said angrily. Gemma hadn't known about him making fun of her, throwing comments after her. She hadn't liked him before this, but now she hated him. Hated everything about him, she couldn't believe that she had started to like him and accept him as part of the group. "I really hope you feel good about yourself now." She spat. Gordon looked at Joachim, as he had never seen him before. His face contorted in anger and disgust.