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20

"are you nervous?" beck asked.

i awkwardly laughed, placing my phone on the table. "of course not, i don't get nervous dummy."

"bulll shiiit! you're so full of it. whatever, i'll see you in a little. love you." she spoke, making a kissy noise into the phone.

"grosss, love you too." i hung up the phone and took a look at myself in the mirror. my cap and gown fit perfectly, almost too perfectly. an overwhelming sense of dread filled my body as i stared at myself in the mirror. my heart began to race, and it wasn't just the iced coffee i had chugged prior. i squeezed my eyes shut and sat back onto my bed. just breathe, i murmured to myself. it'll be fine.

my intrusive thoughts were interrupted by my phone, a notification from instagram.

DADDYCHAN
hey can i call you? i wanna say hi before you leave! :)

shit.
what was i supposed to do now?

ME
hey! sorry i already left :(

DADDYCHAN
but..beck said you weren't supposed to leave for another 20 minutes?

ME
new york traffic lol

DADDYCHAN
jae
are you lying to me?

ME
no no of course not
well
it's just
i cant talk right now

DADDYCHAN
what's up? what's wrong?

ME
nothing! i'm okay

DADDYCHAN
then call me, jaehyun

ME
okay

i attempted to stabilize my breathing, taking a long inhale. i tapped chris's contact and brought the phone up to my ear.

"hey jae." chan answered solemnly.

i inhaled again, "hey."

"you okay? i'm sorry for being pushy.."

"i'm-i'm fine." my voice cracked.

"jae? what's the matter??" he asked, concerned.

"uhm.." the tears began to spill, "i'm just..really scared."

he hushed me, "jae? babygirl shhh tell me what's wrong."

in between my short and staggered breaths, i spoke. "d-don't tell anyone about this. i'll kill you i swear."

chris chuckled lightly, "not a soul. now will you take some deep breaths for me? please."

after a few breaths; i choked, "ahh i'm embarrassing myself."

"no! it's okay, okay? what's the matter?"

"i'm nervous- no, i'm just sad." i spewed out, standing up from my bedroom floor.

chris sighed lightly, "i don't blame you jae, it's a big thing to graduate. we're all proud of you, okay? we're here for you."

"thanks, now i have to go but i will KILL you if you tell anyone, okay?" i giggled, sniffling my nose.

"okay." he chuckled, "bye, good luck."

"thank you. bye."

-

"the future is truly in our hands. as we, the next generation, take a step forward into humanity. no matter what you studied, whether it be film or dance or art or music, we ALL have our special spot in the world. i know that we will ALL persevere in some way. thank you to all of my fellow classmates for the amazing memories, those i will cherish forever. thank you fiorella laguardia high school, and good luck to the class of 2020. we made it!"

applause filled the stadium. i smiled widely, taking a few steps back and exhaling. i did it.

i exited off the stage and took my seat next to beck, she had the biggest smile on her face. "holy shit dude you had the whole crowd cheering for you." she murmured leaning over to me.

i leaned back, mocking her. "it would be kinda awkward if they didn't laugh." she giggled, nudging my arm and returning back to her seat.
-

when the ceremony was over, beck's family demanded on treating us to korean barbecue. i obliged, hopping in my car to drive beck and i.

"say cheese!"

CHAT: aira's koreaboos

AGUSTDEFINED sent a photo

she would've killed me if i didn't block her face 😔

SQUISHYJISUNG
AAA congrats guys!
i love how you both changed out of your gowns as soon as possible 😭

AGUSTDEFINED
BRUH they were itchy

BABYLEE
congrats guys! we're all so proud :,)

STAYZENSUNITE
YESSS CONGRATULATIONS
two more years to go 😔

WONPILLY
AAAA i'm so happy for u both

EUPHORIHOE
YESSSS 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼

CRYSTALIXIE
ahHHH turn up tonight i'm so HAPPY FOR YOU

AGUSTDEFINED
thanks guys! gotta go jae is hangry >:(

ME
AM NOT

AGUSTDEFINED
my point 🙄
byyyeee!