All Four Of Me

Chapter 11

KENZIE

When Ben told me that he was supplying lunch today he didn't say that it was going to be a feast. If I would have known just how much food he was going to bring I would have worn one of the skirts with a stretchy waistband.

I had expected him to supply maybe a meal each and some rice at most, instead he had gone the extra mile and provided us with several tiny appetisers, about four different main dishes as well as a serve of both plain and fried rice. Somehow, he had found the time to set everything up on a cozy looking picnic blanket tucked away under the giant gum tree where we had first met.

The whole setup makes me feel as if we are on some chilled-out picnic in the park, when in reality we are just sitting on the school oval in our second lunch break. Upon seeing me approach the picnic blanket, Ben abruptly stands from where he was kneeling on the ground and ushers me closer to the food.

"How does it feel to be free?" He asks, twirling around dramatically with his arms spread wide in the air.

"Fine I guess." I respond, unable to share the same amount of enthusiasm as him.

"Well, we are about to turn that "fine" into fantastic because here in front of us you will find a selection of the most delectable Chinese food this country has to offer." Ben beams with pride as he talks and I can tell that his confidence in the quality of food in front of us is entirely genuine.

The aroma wafting up from the takeaway boxes is divine and despite the numerous times I tell myself not to get too excited, my mouth starts to pool with saliva anyway. If this food tastes anywhere near as good as it smells then I am going to have a problem on my hands. I would have been ok with lying to Ben if the food was mediocre, but seeing the amount of pride and esteem he has for the meal in front of us, I know I will never be able to go through with my original plan.

"What did you prepare for us today?" I ask, sitting down at the edge of the blanket with my legs crossed.

"For our entrée we have homemade beef and vegetable spring rolls, traditional pork dim sims and freshly deep-fried prawn crackers. Then for our main course we have sweet and sour pork, combination chicken and the Wonky Chopstick's signature sticky glazed duck. All served with a side of special fried rice and steamed jasmine rice."

"Which one is your favourite?" I ask curiously, sweeping my eyes over the mountain of food laid out between us.

"I love all of these dishes in their own way, but I would have to say my absolute favourite is the duck." Ben's eyes twinkle with underlying emotions, telling me that there is more to the dish than just it's flavour. "My father and I developed the recipe together when I was fourteen and every time we make it together I am reminded of how lucky I am to be blessed with the family I have."

A part of me wishes that I could remember my own biological family. There have been times over the last nine years where I have found myself wondering what they were like and whether there had been a time when they actually loved me, but any time I would ask one of my case workers or foster carers about my parents, my questions would be pushed aside or ignored altogether.

Listening to Ben talk about his family with such love and adoration, the small part of me which still longs for answers rises to the surface. I want to believe that I was wanted by my parents, that I was some type of priceless treasure to them like every other child seems to be to their parents, but the more time I spend in the care of other families, the more I start to feel as if they have abandoned me.

"It sounds like it means a lot to you. I can't wait to try it." I offer him a small smile, letting him know that I appreciate his honesty and that I find it kind of endearing that he has been so open and emotional about his family life.