All Four Of Me

Chapter 21

KENZIE

I wake up to the feeling of something soft tickling my nose. At first, the sensation is bearable, however each time I try to subdue the itchy feeling it seems to come back twice as strong and by the third time I have swiped my nose against my pillow I am unable to ignore it anymore. Lifting myself up so that my body weight is rested on one arm, I use my free hand to vigorously rub my tingling nose until the itching sensation finally disappears.

The room is dark indicating that the sun hasn't yet risen, but there is enough light leaking in from the edges of the blinds that I can just make out the shadowy shapes of my surroundings. Nathan is no longer in my room, but a quick search around the mattress with my fingers instantly locates Basil, whose fur I am assuming was the cause of my itchy nose. Cradling him close to my chest, I am surprised to find that some of Nathan's musky cologne has transferred into his puffy fur, probably from where he was rested between Nathan and I as I slept. It doesn't smell the same as the hoodie or the man in my memories, but it is still comforting in its own way.

Although I still feel exhausted, my brain is wide awake and I know that there is next to no chance that I will be able to fall back to sleep again before dawn, so instead I climb out of bed and wander out of my room into the hallway towards the stairs. Nathan's bedroom door is ajar, but I don't think too much into it as it was probably quite late when he made it to his own bed last night. Surely he wouldn't be up working at this time of the morning, right?

As I climb down the stairs I can start to pick up the faint sound of conversation drifting through the corridor. The Kitchen light is on, so the majority of the walkway is partially illuminated, making it easier for me to see where I am going.

"...He wants an updated one on her file and after yesterday's scare I think it would be a good idea as well." Nathan's muffled voice grows clearer the closer I get to the kitchen, but once I step through the entrance way he stops speaking altogether.

"Kenzie sweetheart, is everything ok? It's too early for you to be awake." Will asks quietly, placing his mug onto the counter while adjusting himself in his seat so that he is no longer slumping. There are dark lines under his eyes which seem to be growing more visible each day and to see him sitting there wide awake at this time of the morning re-opens the pit of guilt in my stomach that had been temporarily smoothed over by Nathan last night.

Over the past couple of weeks Will has been working late into the night and leaving for the office before I even wake up of a morning. Knowing that I added to his stress by allowing one of my alters to take over yesterday makes me feel terrible. I know that I have no control over my alters and when they choose to take over, however they are still a part of me and that makes me the cause of the problems.

When Dr Miller told me that there is no such thing as an evil alter, he lied. As far as I am concerned all of my alters are evil, horrible creatures and their only purpose is to make my life, and the lives of those around me a living hell.

"Couldn't sleep." I shrug nonchalantly.

"Nightmares again?" Nathan asks, scrunching his face up into a sympathetic grimace.

"No actually. Basil thought he'd be funny and kept tickling my nose."

"That wasn't very nice of him." Will responds with an amused smile, obviously too tired to be serious right now.

"I agree, but I think he was just jealous that Nathan got more hugs than him last night."

"I'm not so sure about that Kenzie, you were gripping that thing pretty tight when I left your room earlier this morning." Nathan laughs tiredly, leaning forward to rest his chin in his palm.