All Four Of Me

Chapter 13

JAMES

To me, there is nothing worse than watching a child or young person suffer from mental illness and being unable to assist them due to factors that are out of my control.

There are some children, particularly the younger ones who have faced serious neglect and abuse that are far too terrified of the world around them to allow some strange new person into their personal space, even if their psychologist is the friendliest person on the planet.

Then there are some of the older children and teenagers who are forced to attend counselling sessions against their wishes who resent their treating psychologists. They may need the help that is being offered to them, but the negative stigma surrounding mental health often deters them from seeking the assistance they need.

As infuriating as it can be trying to help someone who doesn't want to be helped, there is nothing we can do but keep moving forward and hope that the person in need will finally come to their senses.

It's not my job to judge them or make them feel as if their problems aren't real. It's my job to find a way to help those young people cope with their stressors and make the overwhelming weight of their emotions, or in some cases lack thereof, seem less daunting.

Working with children and young people also has its up sides. The resilience and strength of some of my patients is astounding and to be brave enough to seek help from a professional even with the stigma and fear of being vilified by their peers hanging over their head is one of the most courageous things I can think of.

That's why when Kenzie agreed to consult with a psychologist during our breakfast together last Sunday I was reminded once again why the profession I chose is the right one for me. I had expected her to refuse my suggestion or even get defensive as a lot of other people her age do when they are faced with the type of proposal I had offered her, but she didn't do any of that.

She was mature enough to acknowledge that she needs help and is brave enough to face one of her biggest fears in order to give herself the best chance at recovery. I don't think there is anything more courageous that a teenager could do than that.

Now, looking down at the unconscious girl in front of me it is difficult to believe that there is anything majorly wrong with her. She seems healthy enough in her physical appearance, the only visible sign that something is off are the four distinct crescent shaped cuts on top of her wrist and surrounding bruises where her fingers have pinched the skin too roughly.

"She looks so peaceful like this." Murmurs, tenderly caressing her uninjured hand with the back of his fingers in a slow swirling pattern. I have no doubt in my mind that if Kenzie was awake right now she would be cowering away from his touch in both fear and repulsion.

Nobody knows the true extent of the horrors Kenzie faced in her childhood, but from the limited time I have spent observing her mannerisms and behaviours I can tell that whatever abuse she had been subjected to, both before and after being taken into state custody, was far more disturbing than what anybody has been lead to believe.

No child should be so afraid of physical contact that even the mere thought of being touched, even as a gesture of affection, is traumatic enough for them to spiral into a panic attack.

"I agree, she looks like an angel." And she does. Her usually pale skin is flushed, tinting her cheeks a soft shade of pink and her dark brown hair falls in loose waves around her face before spilling out onto the comforter beneath her. Perhaps the most endearing aspect of her appearance is her small, childlike stature which makes her look much younger than that of other girls her age. Those features, coupled with her shy personality give off an air of innocence and the sight of her laying there so tranquilly sends a wave of protectiveness rushing through my body.