All Four Of Me

Chapter 22

WILLIAM

Waiting for news is one of the worst things in the world.

I am usually a very patient person, however, there are some occasions where I just don't have the time or energy to keep my composure together and today seems to be one of those days where I have next to no patience at all.

Exhaustion is something that I have become used to throughout my career. Since becoming a lawyer ten years ago there have been many sleepless nights of preparation for court cases, hours of reading and research to ensure my client's cases were the strongest they could be and days on end of trials that felt like they would never be resolved, but I have never throughout any of that been as exhausted as I am right now.

My eyes burn from keeping them open for so long, but I know that if I close them now, even for a few short seconds, I won't be able to stop myself from falling asleep and I can't let that happen. My colleague, Amanda could call me at any moment with the news I have been waiting for all week and I am sure as hell not going to miss her call when she does.

For the past couple of months Nathan, Chris and I have been working closely together to ensure Kenzie's safety and wellbeing is maintained in the event that her mother is granted parole. Working in the legal industry, I am lucky enough to have access to information that allows me to stay updated with certain cases that are in court which means that I have been able to remain fully briefed on the status of Karina Price's parole application.

Keeping this whole situation on the down low has been a challenging task. Kenzie, despite having some difficulties learning at school, is well aware of the world around her and I know for sure she is aware that we have been withholding important information from her when it comes to her biological family.

I had been prepared for her to ask questions about her parents and the life she lived before entering the foster care system, but I hadn't been prepared for the intensity and persistence behind her interrogation. She so desperately wants to know who she is and it tears me apart every time we avoid her questions about her biological family.

I mean, how am I supposed to look her in the face and tell her that her mother and father murdered somebody and then tried to do the same to her too?

How do I tell her that her parents neglected and emotionally abused her so badly that when first responders found her the last day she saw her parents, she was in severe catatonic shock and was unable to communicate with anybody for almost two weeks?

Having repressed all of those childhood memories is both a blessing and curse, but it only makes it that much more difficult for us to quench her curiosity when we know just how horrible and careless her parents had been towards her. None of us want to be the person who crushes the small amount of hope that still lingers in her voice each I'm she asks about the people who brought her into this world.

We have every intention of telling Kenzie about her mother, however we want to be absolutely sure that her hearing is going to go ahead first. It has already been adjourned twice in the past two months and the extra stress it has caused us alone has been unbelievable so I can't imagine how much strain this would put on poor Kenzie if we were to tell her and everything fell through once again.

Trying to help her cope with her disorders has been a difficult task in itself, and there have been a few moments where I have seriously considered whether we are doing the right thing by maintaining our position as her legal guardians. When I put my name down for this role, I was under the impression that there would only be one child and between the five of us living at the house I figured we would be more than capable of handling whatever craziness was thrown our way.