Our Nanny is a Boy || bxb

27. Attached

Peter realized he found it hard to let go of Robin. 

It had been like that on Thursday, but on Sunday it was even worse, because the kids had no distraction like school. Even though Felicia was practicing her reading and writing again and Peter was helping her, David on the other hand was really whiny today, having sudden crying outbursts where he would be almost inconsolable. 

Peter didn't like it. David used to have a lot of crying outbursts when he was younger, causing Leah a lot of headache, but they became less the more David grew. Last three months, they had been minimal, but since Robin started to hang out with Alexander more, David had been more impatient when he left. 

Peter wondered if it was possible he felt Peter's fear. It wasn't just David, Peter had also gotten way too attached to the twenty-year-old, and everytime Robin left, he had this irrational fear that something would happen to him. He was so scared to lose someone precious to him again.

It was strange though, because he had much less trouble leaving his kids in the care of others, but for Robin... he just wanted to keep him close all the time. 

Robin felt like more than family. There was some sort of deep connection between them, as if they were made to meet each other. Like... fate?

Robin was shaking his life and every single one of his beliefs. On one hand, Peter liked it, on the other... it scared the crap out of him, that word, "fate". For Peter, it inevitably indicated parting at the end. And for that reason, he found it so hard to let go of Robin, while at the same time his own thoughts scared him. If only he could let go of Robin now, he would never have to suffer from a worse heartbreak. 

But to be honest, he was already so deep in that he was close to one hundred percent sure it couldn't possibly get any worse. That was what he said to Anita too, in their intake interview seven weeks ago. He really needed help with that as well. She said that it could be rooted in the trauma of losing a lover, because of that it's scary to love again. After all, besides Robin there was no one he had grown attached to since Leah's passing.

It wasn't really a problem in its own that he was attached to Robin, since the boy seemed to feel the same way. But Peter didn't like his own immaturity in wanting Robin to stay with him. After all, it was really unhealthy for a twenty-year-old to be stuck with a traumatized 26-year-old all of the time. And on top of that, he had enough to deal with himself.

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He ended up eating dinner at his parents' again, which cheered David up a bit. Really, Peter felt a tiny bit hurt, realizing that he wasn't enough for David. 

Dinner was delicious and the kids were sitting on his dad's lap as he read them a book, while Peter helped his mom with the dishes in the kitchen. She took the moment to get straight to the point. 'You don't look so well today, son. What's up with you?'

Peter shook his head. 'Nothing.'

'I have known you for 26 years now, I can tell when something's up. If you frown like that any longer it will stay stuck on your face. Does it have something to do with Robin?'

Peter sighs. 'I don't know, I just... I have an eerie feeling in my chest when he's not here. I'm just... overly anxious, but... I'm just a stupid irrational coward for wanting him to stay, and- and-'

'Peter, don't invalidate your own feelings like that.' his mom says empathically. 'I know that you don't like to burden people with your problems, but these people around you aren't there for nothing. I'm ready to listen to you, so you can tell me everything that is bothering you.'

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Despite the talk with his mom that took away some of his anxiety, Peter had a hard time falling asleep again. And when he did, he had another nightmare. A similar nightmare. They were on a high bridge, holding hands. Suddenly a hurricane came, and Peter used both his hands to not fall. However, when the sky cleared, he saw Robin falling down. 

He woke up crying and hyperventilating, yet he kept himself from calling Robin. He stumbled to the bathroom, rummaging through the medicine cabinet. At that moment, his eyes fell on the bottle that said "Valium". It was the medicine Robin took when he had an anxiety attack, the younger had told him. He must have forgotten it.

Without thinking twice, he grabbed the bottle and swallowed about three of the small white pills and sunk down on the bathroom floor, trying to focus on breathing. It took along time for them to work, but when they did, Peter felt a bit drowsy and weak. He didn't dare to go back to bed though, so he stumbled to his room, dressed up and went downstairs to wait for Robin to come home.

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Poor Peter😕

I have so many recommendations but I'm just angry about the lack of views on this masterpiece. And look at him being ethereal in the thumbnail help-