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MADNESS
— 32. Sacrifice

  Ylva walked outside and noticed that Freya still hadn't reached her horse

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Ylva walked outside and noticed that Freya still hadn't reached her horse. She sighed in relief and immediately ran over.

"Freya!" She called out, causing Freya to stop and turn to Ylva in shock, "I must thank you, for taking care of Halig."

"He is family and my blood. Did you really think I wouldn't protect him?" Freya asked, letting out a large scoff.

"In all honesty, I did not know," Ylva admitted, a guilty look appearing on her face, "After I left you in York, you became a completely different person."

"Perhaps I wouldn't have done the same for Gyda, but Halig is different. I love that boy, I always have. He was the only one who never treated me like a monster," She explained and Ylva walked toward her, trying to contain her tears.

"Why? Why did you betray me, Freya?" Ylva asked her daughter in a whisper, "I mothered you more than any of them, and still, you betrayed me."

"Ivar made me believe he was the only one who could understand me. When I realized he was wrong, it was too late. I had fallen in love with Hvitserk, who joined Ivar because of me. I couldn't leave him and when Ivar suspected that I still would, he threatened to kill Hvitserk. I could not let that happen," She confessed and Ylva remained in place, realizing that Hvitserk had, indeed, been telling the truth, "When I arrived back from England, I sent a whaler to warn Lagertha about Ivar being on the verge of attacking her. The message was never received because we killed them for what they tried to do to me. They tried to rape me," She paused, waiting for Ylva to respond but she didn't, "I am sorry about what I did to Sihtric, but you must understand. He came to me on the battlefield. It was either I killed him or he killed me and I refused to die."

Ylva didn't respond. Instead, she sighed and nodded her head in understanding.

"I hope you can forgive me for everything I did in the past. I'm sorry for everything I put you through, even when I was younger," Freya spoke up, tearing up as she walked closer to Ylva.

"You were difficult, yes, but I still loved you. I always did. You were my daughter," She paused, sighing as she began to smile sadly, "You still are."

"Please say you forgive me," Freya pleaded, tears threatening to spill down her cheeks, "I believe I am going to die tomorrow. Ivar will learn about what I did and I wish to be forgiven by you before I die."

Ylva teared up and walked closer to Freya. She smiled sadly, cupping the girl's face in her hands as she wiped her hands. "You will not die tomorrow. But I forgive you."

"Of course I am going to die tomorrow. The gods hate me. They made my child blind and bear Sigurd's eyes as a way to punish me for having Hvitserk's child but making Ivar believe it was his," She admitted, crying as she did so, "But you know, the whole time I was giving birth and after I had lost him all I could think about..." She trailed off, crying out as she stared up at Ylva, "All I could think about was how much I wanted my own mother."

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