Resurrection Hour - Hidden in Ice(Nanowrimo)

Chapter Fifteen

"Hey, it's okay," he said, rubbing her shoulders. "It's okay."

"Can you go? Please," she said, crying softly, pulling away from him. "I'm sorry. I know I'm being a bitch, but please, I need you to go."

"I don't want to leave you like this."

She was far too upset to leave alone. The last thing he wanted was for her to hurt herself because of something he said or did. Why the hell had he even let it go this far and not stop it before it got to this point? Especially after how she was this afternoon. He was so stinking stupid.

"I'll be fine. I just need some time alone."

"You won't, you know..." He left the last few words unsaid.

"In the past I probably would have," she said, showing him the old scars on her wrists. "But not anymore. Now I just cry it out of me," she said wryly.

"I'm sorry if I upset you," he said, brushing a tear off her cheek. For a moment, she leaned into his hand and they sat there silently on the floor. He wished she'd share her pain, but for now he'd share his strength.

"It's not you. Not really. My past just has a way of sneaking up on me when I least expect it and at the most inopportune times," she said, gesturing towards their half naked bodies.

"Don't worry about it," he said, brushing her cheek one final time before pulling up his pants and picking up his shirt from the corner. Xavier returned to where she was sitting on the floor and helped her onto the couch. After she sat down, he moved to the chair where she'd been sitting before, giving her some much needed space. The ghosts that had claimed her gorgeous green eyes tugged at his heart. She shouldn't have to bear so much pain alone. It wasn't fair.

That was the one part of life he had trouble understanding. Why do some of the best people have to suffer the most and the worst people get the most? It's a question that he knew baffled even the greatest philosophers, so he had no hope in heck of ever understanding it.

"Thank you," she said, pulling the blanket around her a little tighter, curling into a tiny ball on the couch.

"If you ever need someone to talk to, I'm here."

"You'd run the other way if you only knew," she said with such certainty that it tore him up inside. With each word, he watched as she withdrew into herself, becoming a different person than who was just with him a moment ago.

"No! I'm the last person in the world that could ever judge anyone for anything." The only people he had no sympathy for were pedophiles and murderers. Truly evil people who had no place walking their streets. Those were the type of people that deserved everything they had coming to them. Most other things were just humans living their lives and making mistakes. There was not a single person out there who hasn't made one of their own.

"There's a first time for everything."

He wanted to knock out every single person that made her feel so worthless. "No, I'm being honest. I'm here if you need a shoulder."

"Maybe sometime." She smiled weakly. "For now, I just want to sleep."

"Want me to stay until you fall asleep?" He hoped that she would say yes, because he didn't want to leave her like this. He caused this and he wanted to un-cause it, but he had no idea how.

She glanced at him quickly before averting her gaze back to her hand. "No, it's okay. Cheryl should be back soon. I'll be fine."

"Why don't I stay until she's back? Go climb into bed. I promise to stay on the couch."

"That's sweet, but I need time alone to sort through my thoughts."

"Do you promise to call me if you need someone?"