Blood Moon

Talking & Rebuilding

As it was against campus rules for muggles to enter Severus' dorm they walked back to Cameron's.

The walk itself was silent and tense.

Yes, they had sorted out the misunderstanding, but everything was far from alright and the conversation they were about to have was long overdue.

Once inside and free of coats and shoes, Cameron motioned for Severus to sit on the couch.

Complying, the Fae nervously clasped his hands in his lap as instead of sitting next to him, the older man sat on the coffee table so they were facing one another.

Taking a breath, Cameron began.

"I think the first thing I should say is I'm sorry." He said unexpectedly.

Severus' head snapped up, mouth open, ready to protest, but his boyfriend just raised his hand to stop him.

"No. We are going to talk, and in order to do that we are going to allow the other to finish. Okay?" He said firmly.

Conceding, Severus pursed his lips in displeasure, but staid silent.

Nodding with a small smile of thanks, Cameron continued.

"I want to say I'm sorry for allowing this conversation to be put off for as long as it has. Not just in the regard of your panic attack, but also how little we actually know about each other's lives." He says, his brow creasing, obviously displeased with himself.

The Fae frowned, confused at what the older man was referring to in that last statement

Seeing this, the blond sighed.

"Case in point, Nicole. You didn't know I was an orphan, let alone that I had an adopted sister. We are both private people and it's one of the reasons why we work so well, but it is also why we had a misunderstanding like today." Cameron said, watching the younger man's response carefully.

Severus twitched, unease rising at where this was going, but swallowed it as the older man was right.

He nodded at his  boyfriend to continue, which he did.

"I'm not saying we tell each other our deepest, darkest secrets, no. What I'm suggesting is if our issues involve both of us that we talk about it, maybe even share why we have those issues and how to either avoid them in the future or work at them until whatever it is becomes a non issue. Starting with what happened when you had the panic attack. Alright?" Cameron asked, waiting to see if the younger man was game.

Taking in a breath, Severus nodded.

He didn't particularly want to do this, but he knew if he wanted to stay with Cameron he needed to.

Leaning forward and placing his elbows on his knees the blond man caught the Fae's eyes once more.

"Like I had said that day, I won't make assumptions, but I've lived in the childcare system Severus and I've seen kids flinch like you do before." He said, voice soft, his eyes filled with understanding, but not pity.

If he had seen pity, Severus would have been angry.

Pity had never saved him, never put food in his stomach, or healed his injuries, but now, under his boyfriend's understanding he felt uncharacteristically vulnerable.

Thankfully, Cameron didn't let the moment stretch and quickly continued, allowing the Fae to gather himself.

"That being said, I also am aware that you flinching isn't because of me. I can tell you worry about me thinking you flinching is a sign that you don't trust me or that my touch is unwanted." He says and for a split second, Severus couldn't breath.

It took his breath away, how well Cameron seemed to know him and Severus' chest ached with the feeling of being understood, a feeling that up until that point he had only felt around Mr. Evens.

"I want to make this clear, right here, right now. I. Don't. Mind. When. You. Flinch. I don't think you're rejecting me, I don't think you distrust me. All I think in that moment is 'He didn't flinch as hard that time, that's progress!' or 'He flinched into my touch that time!'" He went on.

"The only thing I would ever have a problem with is what happened the last time we kissed. You hurt yourself. You pushed to far and to fast past your boundaries. If I'm right, then part of that was my fault for not making it clear just how much your flinching was a non issue for me, but I ask that you never do that again. I need to make sure you understand how serious I am about this, because I don't want to be the weapon that you hurt yourself with." Finished, Cameron leaned back, waiting for Severus to process his words and respond.

The last words hit the Fae hard, because intentional or not that was what had ended up happening.

Bitting his lip, Severus contemplated his words before speaking.

"You're right. I was frustrated at myself for flinching and was afraid of you believing I didn't want your touch. That night, I was just so sick of how the past seemed to rule me even after all this time and I did use you to push myself. I understand that I worried and unsettled you, I apologize for that, but I promise it won't happen again. I'll do my best to keep within my limits and the next time I want to push them I'll talk with you first. On that note, I ask that you also bring up anything you wish to try or talk about." The younger man replied, body relaxing as at least this matter was finally cleared up.

It would undoubtedly spring up again in the future, it was to big of an issue at the moment not to, but for right then it had been sorted.

Cameron accepted the request with a nod, smiling as the tension between them subsided a good margin.

Feeling a bit mischievous, Severus raised an eyebrow at the man with a playful smirk on his lips.

"How do you forget you have a sister?" The ravenett asked.

The look Cameron gave him could only be described as offended.

"I didn't forget I had a sister! I just...forgot to mention I had a sister! There's a difference!" He insisted.

Severus didn't believe him for a second and made that very clear by the look on his face.

Things weren't back to normal, there was to much to figure out before it ever could be, but they were mending.

=========================================================

1083 words edited

1006 words unedited

Original inspiration below.

For a month Severus ignores a pleading Cameron until he finally just traps Severus in his dorm and forces him to listen. He tells Severus that the women wasn't not his biological sister, but he loved her like one and that Severus was the one he loved. Begging him to take him back. Severus thinks about it and realizing how much he missed Cameron excepted after making the man promise never to betray him like that. They spend the next few months rebuilding their relationship.

I don't really know why it came out so differently then the idea, but it is what it is I guess?