Loving Me Back

Chapter 6- Coach

"Hey Ella." I hear Andrew say as he takes the seat next to me.

"Hey Andrew." I greet.

"What are you working on?" He asks, interested.

"The math homework that's due today. I didn't know we had any until my friend who has this first period told me." I reply as I go back to answering the last question.

"Shit I didn't know we had any either."

"What are you gonna do?" I ask.

"Just not do it I guess." He shrugs his shoulders.

"Unless." He begins. "You could let me copy your answers." I knew he was going to ask that. Great, this puts me in an awkward position because I don't want to say no.

"Oh- alright." I move my paper in front of him so he can copy the answers down.

"Thank Ella, you're a lifesaver."

"Yeah no problem." I couldn't help but get a little annoyed that he was copying off my paper. I do not want to be known as that girl.

"Okay class, just finish up that last bit of class work and that's it for homework for today." My math teacher announces as there is only about five minutes of class.

I swing my bag over my shoulder as I go over to Andrew's desk to wait for him. Over these past couple days, we've grown closer. We've both started to walk to class together often.

"Hey I have a hockey game tomorrow night, you should come." Andrew offers. My heart beats a little faster as he continues that sentence. Of course I already was going to go because he's on the same hockey team as Aaron and Leo and I go to all their games.

"Sure." I agree with a smile.

"First game of the season." He begins.

"I wouldn't miss it."

"He invited you to his game?" Katie repeats in an excited tone.

"Would you not be so loud?" I say as I look around to make sure no one heard me. I always get stressed that people can hear when I'm talking about crushes and stuff. It also doesn't help that Katie has a loud voice.

"No one heard me. Anyways, what did you say?"

"I said yes." I say as though it's obvious.

"I'm excited for you Ella."

"I'm excited too."

"Just be careful with him alright." Katie warns me.

"Why does everyone keep saying that? It's not like we're dating so you have nothing to worry about." I was getting a little annoyed because I can take care of myself. I'm not stupid.

"It's just you know his reputation with girls."

"I know."

"When's the game?" She asks, changing the subject.

"Tomorrow. Can you please come?"

"Sure. I'll be your wingman." Katie says as she nudges my shoulder.

"Okay well i'll see you." I say as I head the opposite direction for my next class. Ugh I have figure skating today and I am not looking forward to practicing more for the competition. I don't know why coach is making such a big deal about this competition specifically. Do I always complain about figure skating? Yes I do. Will I ever quit? No.

"Hey Olivia" I say as I sit down next to her to put my skates on.

"You excited for figure skating practice today?" She asks.

"I guess. It's just been really stressful recently." I answer.

"I know. Coach has been putting a lot of pressure on you specifically. I mean you are our strongest skater but you're also a teenager. You shouldn't have to deal with that much pressure."

"Well thanks." I reply. I like to think of myself as a pretty good skater but I didn't know other people thought of me the same.

"Well we should head on the ice now."

"Okay everyone, today is going to be a hard core training day. I want you guys all prepared for the competition." Coach announces. Wow she really is serious about this.

After practice...

"God that was hell." Alexa says as she wipes the sweat off her face.

"I know, she must be real serious about this competition. My legs feel like they're going to break from all the laps and conditioning stuff we did." I say in an exhausted tone.

"Hey Ella, can I talk to you in my office please?" Coach asks as my teammates and I start skating off the ice.

"Good luck." Sadie says which makes me even more nervous for whatever coach is going to say.

I follow my coach in pursuit into her office.

"Listen Ella, there is something I would like to talk to you about." My coach begins. Great, that sounds like a good sign.

"Yes go ahead."

"I think we all know you are a very strong skater. And I wouldn't be having you do the double axel if I didn't think you were." She says.

"Thank you." I reply.

"But of course, this competition coming up is very very important for us. For you as well if you want to take this figure skating thing to another level." Coach announces. I don't reply because I can tell there's more.

"And we want the moves to look amazing, well more like better than amazing for us to even score." Coach states. "And in order for that to happen, you need to be in the best shape possible. Which is why I think it'd be best if you cut back on food for a while until after the competition. Just to help you get into the best shape." I can't believe what I'm hearing. I feel like crying. I never considered myself to be out of shape or overweight to the point where I need to cut back on food. I mean my body is average. Well at least I thought it was.

"I-" I begin.

"Look I know this may seem harsh but if anything I am looking out for you and the team."

The second I get into my car, I break down. I had never really thought too deeply of my weight before because no one ever told me I needed to lose any. Which is basically what my coach said. I feel like I'm not good enough. And it sucks. I don't even know how to process what she said or how to go about it.

"I'm home." I say as I enter through my front door.

"Hello." My mom says as she's currently making dinner.

"What's wrong honey?" My mom always knows when something is up.

"Nothing. Just tired." I lie. There is no way I am saying anything about this to anyone.

"Okay well get some rest then." I head upstairs and cry into my pillow a little bit. I need to shower maybe it will clear my mind off things.

As I am in the bathroom undressing myself so I can hop into the shower, I can't help but stare at my body in the mirror. All the imperfections that were never there before I am now noticing. Maybe coach was right...

Once I get out of the shower, I get into my pjs and then just watch some netflix before bed. I suddenly hear a knock on the door.

"Come in mom."

"Hey. Leo and Aaron's first hockey game of the season is tomorrow." My mom states.

"I know. I'm gonna go. I was gonna go with Katie so is it alright if she comes over beforehand?" I still have to ask her if she's up for that but I'm assuming she will be since we talked about it together the other day.

"Yes totally. Now get some rest."

"Good night mom."