To heal is to feel

A Quite apology

After I wash my hair and scrub my skin deeply, I step out of the cold water and dry myself of.  I change into the cloths I have been wearing for days now and softly open the door, shutting it quickly

Quite snores , I hear quite snores behind me so i turn around and see that daryl has fallen asleep already, oh.

He's curled up, his cloths still on, his crossbow right besides him on the floor since he sleeps on a cot, his face seems relaxed but ... aware at the same time. I realized that he's only half asleep and if I make any sudden noises that are too loud he will wake up, no doubt be more annoyed by me.

I lift myself so I'm on my tippy toes and quietly as possible walk towards the couch, I crawl into the couch quietly , and it's only when I'm half asleep that I realize that my bag and shoes are placed in the corner of the room neatly, along with my jacket that was now folded.

Did Daryl do that?

Such a small thing to do for someone, yet I felt comforted by it. See, he isn't so bad after all. Then, guilt hit me, because even after I slammed the door and ignored him... he still managed to take care of my things and I don't think momma would have done that.

No, she wouldn't have.

I shrug the blanket off of me, even though I'm know freezing cold with wet tangled hair, I shiver as I sit up on the couch and bring my knees to my chest.

And I think some more.

No one will ever questions moms actions, because of her beauty and light smile, but if daryl ever did something in the wrong  they would scold him or immediately judge him by his appearance with out a second thought.

Does that make sense?

Yes, my brain is telling me, but I know it doesn't.

Appearances, they can be a dangerous thing for a first impression. I wonder what people think of me on first impressions.

I sigh and shake my head of the thoughts, but I knew that wasn't going to work. I slowly climb off of the comfortable couch despite the voice in my head saying not to, and I walk towards my shoes before bending down and taking the dirty socks out of the shoes and putting them on.

I slowly turn the door nob, opening it with a sigh of relief when it doesn't make a creeping noise, before closing it and looking around the dim hallway. It was so quite, it must have been really late because not one peep was heard.

I decide to go to the rec room, I open to doors before opening the correct one , at least I think it was. It had shelves of books, boxes of games, some couches, and what looked like to be a table with a game on it... weird.

"Hmmm." I hum as I walk past the games and go towards the shelves, there was two in one row. I scanned up and down even though I knew I didn't understand most of the big and fancy words on the title.

I released another hum , getting bored of looking through books and decided to leave the room, going down the hallway and turning a corner after Borneo before entering a room with cabinets of medicine , a tray of foods, and drinks.

I wasn't hungry, but I was thirsty. I grabbed a water bottle and chugged it all till there was none left. I looked through the little bottles of medicine before I recognize a bottle with the same looking pills mom takes after a hangover.

Maybe I could return the favor to daryl and take him some for the morning. I saw the empty bottle of wine near his cot before I left...

I open the cabinet slowly with soft touches, afraid that I might break the glass barrier and get caught. I stuff the bottle once it's in my fingertips grasp and a bottle of water, heading back to my and Daryl's room.

I was extremely bored by this little adventure that if we were going to stay here for long, I'll be bored to death.

I open the door the same quite way I did a while ago, closing and then locking it. I turn around, but freeze when I meet a pair of blue eye, angry but dazed blue eyes.

"Where the fu-"he stops himself and stumble gets up, "where were ya?" He points at me, his hips swaying the slightest, I push the bottle of pills up my sleeve discreetly,not knowing what daryl might do if he finds out I stole it while he's in a daze

I took a deep breath, "I was thirsty , so I went to go get a water, brought you one to." I say, tossing him the water bottle and he catches it clumsily.

"Where's yours?" Daryl questioned, my eyes widen a bit in surprise when he starts to ask questions. Usually mom couldn't even see straight when she was this intoxicated, but maybe Daryl is used to being intoxicated this much that it doesn't effect  him as much...

"I-I drank mine on my way here." I say, holding my head high and maintaining eye contact as daryl looks over my face for a movement that would tell him I'm lying

I wasn't really really lying, I did drink water...

"Go to bed." He says in a stern voice, laying back down onto his cot again, but his eyes never leave me as I nod and practically run back to the couch.

I wrap the blanket around me and relax back into the bed, I stare up at the ceiling in stress, I suddenly needed to pee.I huff, and start playing with the fluffy fabric of the blanket.

"Daryl." I wisphered out, hopping he would hear me and that he hasn't fallen back to sleep yet. I hear some rustling before I actually hear his voice

"What" he spats out, annoyed. I play with the fabric more aggressively

"I need to use the restroom." I wisphered again, hoping he won't spat at me again

"Then go, you don't have to tell me that." He says more gently than last time he spoke, "but you told me to go to bed-"

"Just go use the bathroom Lanna." He says tiredly, I shrug out of the blanket and sprint towards the restroom, pee, wash my hands, then back into the room, and sprint back to the couch before burying my self in the blankets once again.

Embarrassing.

"Can you go to sleep now?" He asked in a tired and sleepy voice , i move my head lower to meet his eyes again, I could till that he wanted sleep so badly

And I was keeping it from him.

I nod, slowly shutting my eyes and relaxing my muscles as a wave of tiredness comes over me

"Good night daryl." I say, pulling the blanket towards me, I hear him moving before there's a pause

"Night Lanna." I hear him grumble, before there's a series of snores filling the quite room. I wait a few minutes before I slowly get up again, and creep up to daryl, bending down and taking his boots off of his feet, grabbing the pill bottle from my sleeve that went unnoticed by Daryl and setting it on the side of his cot,  along with his boots.

I go to my blanket , that's actually two sheets and pell one off of the other one, setting it gently on his cold skin.

I straighten back up to my full height, a small smile lifts my lips up a bit as I look down at a now heavy asleep daryl

"Sorry for slamming the door, daryl." I say before turning off the lights and finding my way back to the couch, finally letting sleep overcome me.