Forever Fighting | ✔️ | [previously Espionage: double-cross]

Chapter 49

Alex was still in shock. There she was, still thinking about this crazy mess she had gotten herself into. Two crazed spy agencies who wanted her for different reasons, all because her mother was woking both sides and didn't leave her any clue on what to do. Well she did, but Alex couldn't risk looking at it now, not when she was here and where the walls had ears.

As soon as James had left, she looked at the USB he had given her. Well, that was the second thing she did after allowing herself 15 seconds to let anger consume her; anger at him, at Potentia, at Auxilium at the world, at her dad, at Julie, at Ava and Mark and Heather and at herself, pure anger that she got close to people, to a goal and watched as the world ripped it away from her. Feelings would get her nowhere in life, she knew that now. 

So, with 5 seconds of anger left, she began to compose herself and build up walls she had let crumble and fall; the wall she less dissolve as the tidal wave of emotions she normally cowered from seeped back into her life with every person that has fixed her broken soul. The soul that was now shattered again. But no one knew, no one ever knew how broken she was, heck she didn't let herself know how broken she was. She just hid under a blanket of violence and knowledge.

So this time, when she built her barriers, she built them higher, stronger, reinforcing it with the steel of her mind. 

Now, she wasn't going to worry about people, just her mission, her mother's ex-mission and getting to the bottom of this insanity. Gone was the sarcastic, funny, vaguely compassionate girl who craved helping people in a way she wasn't. She became the more violent, logical, systematic robot that had protecting her for years after her mothers death. 

Damn them all for making her believe she needed them. She just needed to get out of this alive before she could properly decipher her magnitude of emotions she kept locked tight in a box in the back of her mind. 

What she didn't know was that the more she added to and forgot about those feelings, the bigger the inevitable explosion would be when they were released.

So then, she looked at the USB. Here was something else she didn't know: check what was on it now, when they could potentially see that he helped her and risk his safety or focus solely on the mission like the robot she wanted to be. 

So what could she do? 

Right now she needed to get out to meet some very ex-important people. Maybe she could find some Internet cafe or something, if they still exist. She checked her watch: 11.32. 

"Crap". 

Her thoughts had been all over the place and she hadn't had a coherent thought since the park, no before that. The park had really messed her up. 

Why does everything be so hard? 

And for the first time, she wished for nothing more than to just be normal.

So there she stood, leaning against the tree, her fingers absentmindedly tracing the engravings in the bark. She didn't stand out too much, her black jeans and t-shirt with the line 'I'm not arguing, I'm just explaining my I'm right' in black on the Burgundy top made her look normal, like the person she had been before being dragged into a feud between two secret agencies. 

She just wanted to get back to her old life, and she promised herself she would too. She had a plan, but she just needed to get through this talk first. She wanted, no, needed answers, because she had no one but her dad now and Alex had no idea what she would do if she lost him too. 

The emotions she had quashed were leaching through, excitement and joy bleeding into her hard exterior at the thought of seeing part of her old life, despite them being mixed up in the mysteries that plagued Alex. While she was extremely excited at the idea of seeing them, the actual thing was extremely different. She was not mentally prepared to actually see them, as if it was never going to be a reality.