Way of my soul || Poetry

xxvii. these emotions

These emotions
are something I have no words to express
these emotions are something I don't want to feel
this feeling
is like wearing a bad dress
and so to myself, I just conceal
detached from the crowd
hoping it all goes away
hopefully, by the end of the day

These emotions
are all too many at once
but most of all it makes me feel lost and blue
its like a part of me has gone
and I have no path to continue
hiding in the blaring daylight
while everyone is taking in the welcoming rays of the sun,
I however feel like I'm sucked by the earth and I can't even run

These emotions
are like I'm trapped under a sea
the waves of feelings drowing me
and there's nowhere else I can be
blood is all I'm seeing
and the urge to fly high and crash back down
is something my friends deeply frown upon
but can someone please tell them
I'm now just broken shards of glass and all I want is death, to condemn

These emotions
are enough to kill me
a million times at once
taking in all my happy thoughts, leaving me with the rest so so murderous
its like a huge map spread out
hard to pinpoint exactly, the reason for my clout
it gives me thoughts of dying
in the end I'm just left crying
cuz death shouldn't be a choice
so I just lay there in my bed trying to lower the voice
the voice sadness gives
is a doubt for man and
the doubt is if he lives

...

Context: I don't feel okay