Way of my soul || Poetry

xxxvi. haunted by the past

If you catch her studying in the middle of the night

and ask her why she didn't choose the day

she'll tell you "I don't fall asleep so easily"

but there's more to her story than she always says

If you catch her studying in the middle of the night

and ask her why she didn't choose the day for a start

she'll tell you "I don't-"

"Fall asleep so easily" followed by her heart

"I restlessly toss and turn around

in the dead of the night it's so quiet that

I can't bear to listen to my thoughts crystal clear sound

so I sit until my eyes are bloodshot

and my eyelids are pulling down like shutters

imprinting in my brain whatever is on the book

so my brain won't take me to the past for a look

hoping when I'm back in my room

I'll pass out in this sleepy restless doom

it's a pity my brain won't just forget

or bury the past at the back of my mind

and just when everything starts to get quiet

I know I'm not gonna be fine"