pearl {hs}

moral of the story.

tw: smut
- ;)

song; moral of the story // ashe ft niall horan

margot xx

"What are you and Justin doing tonight?" I stop applying my mascara and scoff slightly before giving Sophia a look. She starts giggling. "Look I think I can tell you the entire date all the way from his date suit down to the exact conversation we are going to have." I let out a small laugh, "and I bet if you'd ask him what the plans are he'd tell you himself." We both start laughing at how predictable Justin, my boyfriend, is.

We have been dating for a little bit five months and he is the most predictable person ever. He is one of the sweetest guys you'd ever meet but he's just a bit too clingy and a bit stuck in his way. Normally I don't think any girl would stay with someone like Justin. But, he was the new single hot fire chief and we're in the south. All the older ladies are going to try to get the young single girl to date him. To live out their dream almost but most of them are either in their 60's and happily married or are a middle class divorcee with kids.

Honestly the idea of dating anyone was ruined after Harry left and took my heart with him. But, as more time passed the more lonely I got. Nana, before she passed, always said that Harry and I dated. Though we said we were just friends, everyone knew that we were clearly something more. As time went on I realized she was right.

I wonder if he admitted it to himself ever.

I wonder if we would have ever gotten the chance to ever tell each other how we feel.

So I guess I owe it to myself to try and move on.

Move on from a soulmate who wasn't supposed to be.

"He cannot be that bad," Sophia chuckles and I just give her another look. She raises her arms in defeat while I finish applying my mascara. Once my mascara is on I finish my makeup with setting spray. Setting it back in the drawer and closing it. I grab my phone and head into my room. "Should I wear the dress that accentuates my neckline or the dress that accentuates my ass?" I ask her and she giggles again.

"What happened when you were excited about him a week ago?" I sigh, she's right.

I was in fact still very invested in getting to know him and seeing if I could let him loosen up. So what fucking changed?

I bite the inside of my mouth and shrug. "Could it have to do with a certain someone being back in town?" She asks with a cheeky grin on her face. Could it be Harry? Is that why I am dreading this date night?

"I don't know," I softly say while shaking my head. "You actually don't know or you do know and just refuse to admit you are still in love with him." Am I still in love with him?

All I know is that he left. I still don't even know what I could have done so bad for him to leave and never call me or text me. Hell he couldn't even acknowledge the letters I sent him every week. What would you do if you sat at home waiting for your best friend to pick up the phone and then go on every social media platform seeing him with a different girl every night.

I'm also not going to be blind at the fact that every song he has put out is basically all about me. With most of them alluding to that he is sorry. But, how does one forgive him when you could never forget what he did? Harry made me feel like I was the only girl in the world. He made the world feel like it was just the two of us. He made everything better. He is the sweetest soul I have ever met and the funniest too.

So am I still in love with Harry?

I shake my head again trying to make sense of all of this, "I actually don't know Soph." I grab the dress that in Justin's words 'accentuates my ass.' Quickly stripping out of my pajamas before sliding the dress over my head and zipping it. "I'm sorry Mar, I know it's hard..."