pearl {hs}

ronan.

tw: car accidents, hosptials, trauma, death, mentions of death
-this is a flashback chapter into margot's past, please be kind to yourself and her

song; ronan (taylors version) // taylor swift
when you see ** play the song

margot xx

Today is the last day of 2019. Heading into the new year as soon as the clock strikes midnight. Striking midnight means not only the new year but my birthday as well. But, I never look forward to my birthday anymore. I rather forget about it and just move on like it's a normal life.

I've found comfort in talking to my heavenly little brother on dreaded days like today. He doesn't get to be on this earth anymore, he doesn't get to grow older. That was taken from me that night in 2004. At the age of four every milestone, every big moment was snatched away. Just by some fucking idiot drunk driver.

Being the age of nine and being the only surviving member of your family is very traumatic. I knew exactly what was happening as soon as the car crashed into our car. Every flip I counted hoping to whoever that we all would make it.

"Just let mommy, daddy, and Ro-ro be okay," I kept saying that through my head.

When the car landed upside down on the ground, my mom was screaming trying to get my dad to wake up. Ronan screaming bloody murder not able to comprehend what was happening. My head was foggy but I knew I needed to get my family out.

"Mommy, where's 911, daddy's bleeding." I remember screaming as I was slipping out of the seat belt. Trying my hardest to get Ronan who is crying looking at his big sister scared. "It's okay little man, hold my hand." I whisper to him as I give him one of my hands trying to get him out of his car seat with my free one.

Getting him out I push and push until the door unjams itself. Getting him to safety before I try my hardest to get my parents out. "Margot sunshine, take this and call 911," my mom says in a rush handing me her phone. I open the old flip phone dialing the numbers 9, 1, 1. All I remember was searching my mom's face for some answer waiting for 911 to answer. The only moment I showed anyone how scared I was.

Soon police, fire, and paramedics show up on the scene. I quickly grabbed Ronan running towards help. This gets their attention, as soon as they saw us Ronan was snatched from me and I was rushed away from my parents.

"Please my dad. my mom please make sure they are okay." I remember saying to the nice paramedic who was putting me in an ambulance to check me out. Police officers come and ask me, the nine year old, questions as I stare at my family's car.

Asking me who they should call, asking me if I can recall what happened.

"Marjorie Graceland, 3234 Tyme Road, 828-563-1190"

All I remember was the tunnel vision as more and more help came. All of them running to attend to my parents. Nana rushing to me asking where Ronan was.

The only thing I was wondering. "Please let my baby brother survive, he just turned 4 today," I prayed as everything quickly happened.

I remember everything, but nothing at all.

"Ronan experienced lots of internal damage along with a traumatic shock response. He's heavily sedated, we are trying to keep him comfortable as we won't know more until tomorrow." I remember overhearing h8s doctor say to my Nana in a hushed tone. She just quickly nods as I look at his small frame in the hospital bed. He looked so peaceful, like he was just sleeping.