pearl {hs}

with you all the time.

happy new year everyone! part one of margots birthday :) enjoy!

tw: car accidents, death // mentions of.
-please take care of yourself.

song; with you all the time // harry styles and florence pugh

margot xx

I regret saying yes to today. Sophia called the day after Christmas asking if she could throw a party for New Years and my birthday at her parents house in the mountains. I was hesitant because that would mean tons of people I went to high-school with and some from college that I haven't seen since. Nerves set in as I asked to have the day to think about it. As the memories flood back from the last party in the mountains. The day I tried my hardest keeping Owen here. The day we all lost him.

That night, I was being drowned by the memories I'd wish to forget. Deciding that maybe writing a song about him will help me let go of the pain and guilt I have.

"Okay let's see," I say, sighing, grabbing my song book from the table and my lucky pen. Sitting in the chair in the corner of the living room. Before I pick up my guitar off the stand. "You'd fucking love the fact that I am writing a sing about you right now." I choke out as I talk to Owen.

I strum a few chords before I find the right melody before I close my eyes forcing myself to go back to that night.

"Owen, are you sure?" I ask as the words to my question slur together from the amount of alcohol in my system.

He sighs giving me a look as he gives me a side smirk. "Yes and if you're worried I snuck a beer I will walk a line for you Mar." I nod knowing that he's completely sober.

"Oh you idiot okay let's go please it's cold, I'm drunk and I'm sad." I quip and he chuckles before he leads the way towards the front door to the cramped cabin. "Is he taking you home?" Soph grabs my arm stopping me and I nod. "Yeah, I'll make sure he lets you know when he's heading back up here." She softly nods as I ease her nerves.

We are in the mountains on New Years. A perfect and deadly combination. Given my track record, I am even worried about this.

"Come on slowpoke let's get your drunk ass home!" Owen shouts from outside and I start chuckling as Soph starts her drunk giggles.

"I should come with-" She jolts up and I shake my head. "No Sophia we will be okay," she bites down on her bottom lip. "Promise," I raise my pinky up to her. "And seal it with a kiss," she slurs before she interlocks our pinkies as we both press kisses on each other's finger.

"Margot!" Owen shouts and we say our goodbyes as I rush out the front door. "Sorry sorry you know how your girlfriend is," I say with a smirk. He blows a raspberry before walking over to his car unlocking it.

We both hop in and slowly make our way down the mountain towards town. The radio hums softly through the speakers as he pays attention to the pitch black roads. "How are you O?" He doesn't look at me, keeping his eyes on the road.

"Good, it's been fun being back. I'm sorry I didn't know Harry-'' I shake my head before looking into my lap. In this moment I feel like I hit a fat wall sobering me up. "No no it's okay...I didn't want to make a big deal. He left you know? And I was left what else is there to say O?"

Owen clears his throat, "I wanna marry her Mar," He says quickly changing the subject. "I have the ring and everything." I smile wide knowing that this would be coming.